Tiny Accoutrements

Getting back into this blogging thing...

2009-02-10T10:21:00.004-05:00

I want to start writing more. Right now I'm not really writing at all. I already have this blog, so I may as well use it, eh?

Elinor, or Nori as we like to call her, is now 4 months old. I know people say that this baby thing goes by so fast, but seriously...it's going by SO fast. So I'd like to take this opportunity to commemorate her recent milestones.

Things she's doing at this moment include rolling over inconsistently, blowing raspberries incessantly, screaming like a hoarse sorority girl on the last day of Spring Break 2009 (wooooooooooooooo!!!!!), giggling, and standing while being held up, of course. She enjoys holding toys and putting them in her mouth now, and she's just started to reach for things that are within her grasp.

A few recent photos to showcase Nori's mad skillz. I don't have a lot of smiling pictures of her because she's been sick lately, but I swear, the kid can smile.
Ready for takeoff in her new spaceship:

Showing the bunneh who's boss:

So, duh, the baby's here...

2008-10-27T14:37:00.001-05:00

A whole bunch more pregnancy happened since the last time I posted, and now, duh, the baby's here. Elinor Vivian arrived at 1:18 p.m. on Saturday, October 4 after 41 hours of labor. Fun! But of course it was all worth it. I'd post some pictures, but SOMEONE is a little fussy right now and won't let me. *Pout*

Pictures to come, and soon. I swear.

Y'all Ready for This?

2008-05-29T09:08:00.004-05:00

Our first attempt at finding out Chauncey's gender resulted in a FAIL of epic proportions. Baby simply would not cooperate. So we got to go back last Thursday for another chance (they didn't get good measurements of the heart, either). Chauncey was still marginally uncooperative, but finally turned to where the tech could say more definitively that it's a...GIRL!

And now for some scans of what I consider cuteness, and what I realize others may just see as giant blobs:

And here she is, kissing the placenta (I'm pretty sure that's something that I don't entirely want my unborn daughter to participate in, but I can't very well stop her):

I was honestly shocked; I thought for certain we were having a boy. Either way, we're both absolutely thrilled! Let the naming begin!

Move On

2008-05-07T07:41:00.002-05:00

Pinchloaf and I moved last weekend, from a third floor walk-up (essentially) to a townhouse across the street in Fairlington. We hired movers, and after six grueling hours, they got everything out of the old place and crammed into the new. And now we're in the process of digging out.

The cats have officially come out of hiding now, but they're still reluctant to explore the entire house on their own. I know Dena's been down to the basement a couple of times, but I'm not sure if Archie's aware of the existance of a third floor. He will be eventually, when we move the litter box from the would-be nursery on the top floor down to its proper home in the basement, but for now, he's content with dealing with just two stories. The basement is pretty much a disaster scene anyway, so it's not like there's much to see down there.

The oddest thing about the move is that all three of our old neighbors came out of the woodworks in our last days there and were the friendliest they've been in the entire 2.5 years we lived there. The ones who lived directly across the hall are selling us a gorgeous GORGEOUS china cabinet for super-cheap. We're thrilled, as it will solve a lot of our kitchen storage problems in the new house (as in, we have no kitchen storage), but it's a little odd that everyone's so nice now. Are they just secretly relieved that we're leaving? Were we horrible neighbors and just didn't realize it? I guess anything possible!

Our appointment to find out if Chauncey (what we've been calling the fetus, in jest) is a boy or a girl is on Friday afternoon. I'm trying not to think about it ALL the time, so I just think about it about 75% of the time. I'm DYING to know. Simply dying. So yeah...no surprises for us, unless he/she decides not to cooperate, which is a distinct possibility, I know. Pinchloaf and I are both pretty stubborn, although neither of us is particularly shy. Fingers crossed that we're shown the goods!

What I've been up to lately

2008-04-10T13:34:00.002-05:00

Well, I was on the jury for a civil case in Alexandria that just finished up yesterday after 7 days in court. It was a difficult case and I'm not 100% pleased with the outcome, but there wasn't really any other solution. I'm being cryptic not because I can't talk about it (because at this point I can), but more because I'm just tired of thinking about it. It was much more emotionally draining than I expected.

Pinchloaf and I found a new place to live, about a half-mile away from our current place, but going from Alexandria to Arlington. You know what this means...jury duty! I bet I'll be called to serve in Arlington now, harumph. We're really excited though, and I guess I shouldn't write about it yet, because we're not signing the lease until Saturday, but it's a done deal as far as we're concerned.

Another thing that I've been working on is cooking up a Pinchmuffin. In the words of LOL Cats, "i iz knocked up." It feels weird to be announcing this in my blog, especially since my friends who don't yet know deserve the courtesy of a phone call, but I can't contain it any longer! The Pinchmuffin is due October 2, which still seems so far away, but I know it will be here soon enough. We don't yet know the gender, but the ultrasound to find out (oh yeah, and check on anatomy, blah blah) is scheduled for May 6, which isn't that far away, really.

So we're thrilled, happy, excitied, nauseous, all of the things that come with a life-changing event. And that's what I've been up to lately.

For the Birds

2008-03-03T11:11:00.004-05:00

On Friday, as I was walking home from the bus, I noticed a tremendous number of robins in my neighborhood. They must have just gotten back from wintering elsewhere, and there were literally hundreds and hundreds of them. They were in the trees, on the ground, flying in crazy coordinated groups up to the rooftops...if I were afraid of birds, it would've been unsettling. As it was, I just thought it was kind of cool.

Speaking of cool, check out this scary fish:

That was at the National Aquarium, which Pinchloaf and I visited with our friend Andy two weekends ago. If you've never been, don't freaking bother. It was seriously horrible. The newly renovated Portrait Gallery, on the other hand, was really nice, and made up for the fact that we blew $5 at the joke of an aquarium.

And now, to bring you back from the frightening place that fish took you, some happy pictures Pinchloaf took of the cardinal outside our balcony door:

There, all better? Good.

The People Under the Stairs

2007-12-20T10:18:00.000-05:00

Sometime about two weeks ago I noticed a shopping cart under the stairs that lead up to our apartment. It was a little perplexing, especially since it looked like it was filled with a homeless person's possessions, but I just thought, "Hey, someone's got too many Christmas presents for his apartment!" and left it at that. We do have a severe lack of storage space in our building. Also, there was no evidence of an actual homeless person living under the stairs.

I brought it up to Pinchloaf a couple of days later, "What's the deal with the shopping cart under the stairs?" He shrugged, "Beats me, but it kinda looks like a homeless person's shopping cart." So I wasn't alone in thinking that.

I had to admit that I was feeling a leeeeeettle creeped out by it. Everytime I came down the stairs in the morning, I half-expected to see someone sleeping under there next to the cart. Or in the evening, I was afraid I would surprise the person to whom the cart belonged, and a frightened screaming match would ensue. But apparently the cart's owner was merely storing the cart under our stairs and wasn't actually sleeping there.

The other night, Pinchloaf went downstairs pretty late to take out some trash for the following morning's pick up, and lo and behold, the cart's owner was there. A couple of minutes later, he heard someone talking to the owner in question, and now the cart has disappeared. Weird.

Sorry for the infrequent posts lately. This is literally the most exciting thing that's happened in the last two months. Envy me. Merry Christmas, everyone!

I knew you were coming so I baked a cake!

2007-10-19T14:40:00.000-05:00

It was Pinchloaf's birthday last Saturday, and my family came over on Sunday night to celebrate. Now, I don't get down n' dirty in the kitchen too often, but I did muster the energy to bake my man a cake in honor of the occasion. Specifically, I baked him this cake, with this frosting. And to prove that I made the cake, here are some pictures!
Cake's a-cooling:

Ready to be frosted:

All decorated for the birthday dinner:

I had leftover ingredients so I made cupcakes:

And no, I didn't feed Dena one, but it sure looks like it:

Things have been crazy around here lately. At least the cake kicked some ass.

Baby, You Could Be Faaaaaamous

2007-09-26T11:56:00.001-05:00

Things That Have Recently Rocked My Socks Off

2007-09-24T08:20:00.000-05:00

* I went to NJ two weekends ago to visit Colon (yaaaaaaay!) and see her participate in the much-anticipated Northern Nightmares/New Jersey Bridge n' Pummel rematch. Colon is, a Northern Nightmare, and they soundly spanked NJ Bn'P by about 50 points. The 'bout was action-packed, with girls taking each other out right and left. Colon actually spent time in the penalty box, so naughty was she!

* Besides the good times spent at the 'bout, we also went hiking at Eagle Rock, hit a birthday party for one of her friends, ate diner food galore (the milkshakes! the fries! NJ does diner right!), watched movies, TV, and ate ice cream, and had our fill of BFF weekend fun-times. Too far and few between.

* I've gone running 5 times in the last two weeks and am building my stamina and pace back up. It's been awesome and encouraging.

* I've been cooking a lot lately. I know that sounds lame, but I'm not the most creative cook, and I've actually been whipping up tasty things involving lots of veggies pretty much by the seat of my pants. This has been in part an attempt to challenge myself, and also because I don't want the veggies to go bad, AND because I want to bring yummy, jealously-inducing leftovers for lunch. Mission accomplished!

* Pinchloaf and I are planning our one-year anniversary weekend getaway. First of all, I can't believe we're coming up on a year already! Holy OMG! Second of all, I can't wait to eat the top tier of our wedding cake that's been sitting in the freezer all this time. Mmmmm, freezer-burned wedding cake...

Baby Steps

2007-08-28T07:26:00.001-05:00

It's been almost 12 weeks since my surgery and things are pretty much back to normal. I'm still not inviting any 15-pound cats (I'm looking at you, Dena) to go stomping on my mid-section, but my energy levels are good and I'm working out on a regular basis again. Except for one thing...running.

I was given the green light to start running again 6 weeks after my surgery. I've gone running exactly 4 times since then. It's so frustrating how quickly one goes from easily jogging 3-6 miles at a reasonable clip, to gasping on the treadmill after 5 minutes at 5.5 mph. But, uh, that happened to my friend, yeah, I have this friend...aw, who am I kidding? Yeah, that happens to me.

Last night I managed to do 20 minutes on the treadmill, but it was stretched out over 40 minutes and peppered liberally with long bouts of walking. I know I can't expect miracles, and of course staying in shape takes work, but I didn't think I'd get set back by more than a year on my running journey. It's tempting to give it up all together, but I know that's not the answer, either. I don't really know what point I'm trying to make here, except to say that I'm slightly frustrated, and I recognize that baby steps are in order.

Which Austen Girl Are You?

2007-08-24T07:27:00.000-05:00

Well, I'd prefer to be Marianne Dashwood, if only because I lurrrve Kate Winslet, but it's true, I'm not very much like her. I'll take this one, it's pretty good, too.

Take the Quiz here!

Ack, August is almost over!

2007-08-20T10:00:00.000-05:00

I realized just now that I haven't had a single post for all of August. It's not that I haven't been doing anything, it's more that I've just been too lazy to record the things I have been doing. And what have I been doing, you ask? Well here's the shakedown:

I went to VA Beach this past weekend with my former roommate and her son. We camped out and had a grand old time swimming in the Chesapeake Bay, getting burned, visiting the aquarium, and interacting with the folks at the campground. Such lovely, lovely folks. It really was a fantastic weekend and I can barely keep my eyes open at work today.

I've been riding my bike a fair bit lately. This is the bike I bought with my own hard-earned Dairy Queen money when I was 14 or 15. It's a Moongoose Switchback that needed a fair bit of work done on it since it's been hanging in my parents' garage for at least 10 years. It's not the greatest bike in the world, but it has been fun to mix up the exercise a bit. I've been riding it to the Metro once a week or so instead of taking the bus, and that's been fun as well.

Pinchloaf and I have been frantically watching the US version of The Office. I'm not really sure why I wasn't watching it before, but we're almost done with season 3. The episode where Phyllis gets married is almost more uncomfortable than any episode of the British version, and that's saying a lot. It's pretty freaking awesome though. As all of you are probably already aware.

So that's the big things that spring to mind right away. Yep, nothing too exciting. Just...doing the usual stuff.

Vacation Post with No Pictures

2007-07-31T09:13:00.000-05:00

We had a lovely time in Scotland with my parents and sister last week, despite the problems with each and every flight we had (thank you very much, Continental). Pinchloaf took loads of pictures (he just lurrrrrves it when the Brits say "loads"), but alas they are all on the computer at home. I will post shots sometime in the next couple of days, but in the meantime, a breakdown of the highlights in simple words.

Edinburgh: The kids certainly dig their facial piercings, the likes of which I haven't seen since, oh, 2001. Pinchloaf, Ames, and I attempted to hike Arthur's Seat, only to realize later that we'd scaled about 1/3 of it. It was still a great hike with fantastic views of the city, but not quite as impressive as we'd thought. I also enjoyed Mary's King Close, but the mold, dust, and oppressive, well, closeness of it didn't sit too well with Pinchloaf, unfortunately.

Inverness: The castle we stayed at was fantastic--beautiful views, meadows of sheep grazing nearby, delicious pub food and beer (and ice cream). Nearby Cawdor Castle, fictional home of MacBeth was cool; I especially enjoyed the castle's garden, with a tree-lined path that reminded me of something out of The Chronicles of Narnia.

Loch Ness: Well, the name says it all. I very much enjoyed the boat ride out on the Loch despite the overwhelming smell of exhaust coming from the boat itself. The lake was actually clear while we were out there. It started raining once we returned to dry land.

Ben Nevis: Beautiful mountians, a chance to go up a gondola and hike to the summit, gorgeous views all around.

Fort William and Mallig: We rode on a steam train (the same one they use in the Harry Potter films, no less) out to the west coast. It was actually sort of warm that day, and we could see the island of Skye off in the distance.

Sterling: Castle under renovation, but cool nonetheless. The town itself--very small, easy to walk around, some decent shopping, finally a cup of coffee larger than 6 ounces (seriously, enough with the tiny coffees, people! Anyone who knows me knows I need my morning caffeine!).

Overall highlights: Candy, candy, and more candy. And then some sweets. The Scots know their chocolate, and looooove their butterscotches and sticky toffee puddings. I am a woman of fine, vaguely Scottish breeding, so they certainly knew how to win my heart and stomach.

Driving on the left side: My dad did most of the driving, and I filled in on the later parts of the day when he was tired of hearing me yell, "You're drifting left!" and, "Curb! Curb! Watch the curb!" and wanted to yell those things at me instead.

The only "accident" we got into was on the first day of driving when we were trying to get ourselves the hell out of Edinburgh. My dad was perilously close to the parked cars on the left and finally banged our left sideview mirror against a parked truck. It miraculously remained intact, how I have no idea. It was far more intimidating to drive in Scotland than it was to drive those horrible dirt roads in Costa Rica. But at least I can say I've done it.

Pictures soon to come, I promise!

Taking Surveys instead of Writing Real Stuff

2007-07-19T10:56:00.000-05:00

Your Score: Cheezburger cat

58% Affectionate, 56% Excitable, 66% Hungry

Sure, you deserve one. You helped popularized lolcats from a running gag to an online sensation. Now mainstream media writes asinine columns on this 'phenomenon', students write theses on the topic, programming languages adopt the grammar, and losers write tests about them on dating sites. Now take your cheezburger and never touch the internets again.

To see all possible results, checka dis.

Link: The Which Lolcat Are You? Test written by GumOtaku on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

I have to say I kind of wish I was Suprise Adoption Cat, but I'm okay with who I am.

The Kwik-E-Mart is really D'OH!

2007-07-05T08:23:00.000-05:00

How did I spend my 4th of July, you ask? Why, at the Kwik-E-Mart, of course! Pinchloaf had the brilliant suggestion that we visit the 7-Eleven in Bladensburg, MD, which has undergone the Kwik-E-Mart renovation in honor of the upcoming Simpsons Movie release.

Since words cannot adequately describe the experience, I give you: Kwik-E-Mart, The Story in Pictures.

We bought a box of Krusty-O's (they look suspiciously like Froot Loops, but surprisingly didn't contain HFCS), I poured myself a "Woo-hoo Blue Vanilla" Squishy (which I'm sure contained HFCS in addition to the alarming amount of blue food coloring), and left content that we'd spent the morning of the 4th doing something wonderfully patriotic.

Got me to a Farmer's Market

2007-06-25T14:20:00.000-05:00

Yes, as the title of this post suggests, I finally went to a Farmer's Market this year. Don't ask me why I had such a bee in my bonnet about it, but the many posts on Jocelmeow's blog, not to mention 3pennyjane's mention of Farmer's Market funtimes were certainly upping the jealousy factor.

Pinchloaf and I hit the closest market, which happened to be in Del Ray, that cute little area of Alexandria not two miles away from home. It was substanstially smaller than I'd expected, not that I've been to so many Farmer's Markets. This one just took up a corner parking lot and had about 20 small tents and stalls. It was crowded, and since we got there around 10, a lot people were almost out of everything.

We got 2 quarts of sweet cherries, a quart of strawberries, a whole mess of baby zucchini and squash, tri-colored peppers, several heads of garlic, uhhhhh, some other stuff too, I think.

After buying a pint of blueberries at Whole Foods, I ventured into the world of baking, and made a yummy cherry-blueberry crisp. I ate the leftover cherries from that quart on Sunday and have eaten a goodly portion of the second quart today. You hear that, Jocelmeow? I'm eating stone fruits just like you told me to!

In other news, my energy level increases with each passing day. Yesterday Pinchloaf and I went to Huntley Meadows. It was his first time, my hundredth, and it's such a cool place. We saw two great blue herons, two green-backed herons, countless painted turtles and ducks, a dozen or so deer, and a non-poisonous snake among other things. Pinchloaf saw a beaver, as did two other guys who were near us, but I missed it--boo! I haven't seen a beaver there in probably 15 years. Insert your own dirty joke here.

Continuing to Occupy Myself

2007-06-14T07:54:00.000-05:00

So yesterday Ames and I did manage to get out for a walk. I was very excited that I felt good enough to walk for almost an hour, but then got discouraged when I checked the distance on mapmyrun.com and realized we hadn't even walked two miles. Ouch. I know it's not the distance that matters, but the fact that I got out there and exercised without overdoing it. I'd also walked to Starbucks and back that morning, which is a good mile, so there's that as well. Plus I slept better last night.

We ended our walk at the little shopping center behind my house; Pinchloaf asked me to pick up some gum for him if I got the chance. I also decided that I was bored enough to invest in something to occupy myself, namely an at-home leg waxing kit. Seemed like a reasonable enough idea at the time.

The only thing I've ever had waxed before is my eyebrows, which I'll get done every six months or so, or if a special occasion warrants getting hair ripped off my face. Yes, it's a little uncomfortable, but worth the 10 bucks when I get too lazy to groom them myself. The last time I'd gotten my eyebrows done (the day before my surgery), I looked at the cost of leg waxing and it was around $25. Probably an okay deal, but not really worth the money to me. I'd much rather pay $10 for the kit and the privilege to torture myself rather than let some strange woman in a nail salon experience all that joy.

I heated up the wax in its little tub in the microwave. I'd gotten the "sensitive skin" kit, and the wax was a soothing purple color and smelled of artificial lavender. Mmmm, a spa experience right in my own kitchen! I spread a thin layer of purple wax, which greatly resembled saltwater taffy (yum!) on my shin in a downward motion, as the enclosed leaflet instructed me. I pressed a rectangle of ripping cloth (well, that's what I'm calling it) over the wax and eagerly tore it off. It was much, much more painful than I'd ever anticipated, but beauty is pain right?

I managed to rip off the hair all the way around on the lower part of my right leg before deciding that 1. This was bullshit, and 2. There was no way I was going to be able to do this all over again on the other leg, much less finish this one. So I quit, like the big quitter I am.

My waxed leg turned a lovely shade of pink, and little raised spots were popping up all over the place. It might be easier to get it done "professionally", if only because the main reason I failed was that I just couldn't make myself tear off the hair with any vigor after about the third time, which of course just made it worse, really. So now I'm back to needing to just shave my legs already. Oh, to be 14 again, when I staunchly refused to shave my legs, mostly because I liked grossing people out.

Cabin Feeeeeever

2007-06-13T12:56:00.000-05:00

It's official: I'm bored. It's boring being sick. And I'm not even sick, really, just recovering. But it's sooooooo booooooooring. This is boring, what I'm writing. I was going to whine that it started raining a couple of minutes ago, and maybe that meant that Ames and I weren't going to be able to go for a walk when she comes over later this afternoon, but it's stopped now.

So fine, I guess we will be able to walk. Which is good, 'cuz I'm sick of my house and all its boring books, TV channels, DVDs, crossword puzzles, and food. I'm not so bored that I'll shave my legs yet. Which I definitely need to do. But I'm ALMOST that bored. Sigh.

On the Road to Recovery

2007-06-11T08:17:00.000-05:00

A week ago this morning, I was on a bed in GW Hospital, IV firmly implanted in vein, Pinchloaf by my side, awaiting the start of the procedure to remove my fibroids. The surgery was supposed to begin at 9:45 am. I finally saw my doctor at 9:40, when he told me that the crybaby in the operating room I was scheduled for was having complications and it was taking longer than expected.

They finally wheeled me back to the OR at 11:30. The procedure itself was routine. They found a fourth (!) fibroid underneath the huge one, lurking there all, "Surprise! Bet you didn't expect me!" The doctor was able to get everything out via the 5 cm incision and he stapled (!!) me closed. This prompted loads of office supply jokes from my mother and husband in my hospital room later. I hadn't been feeling nauseous at all until that point. I think I needed a leeeettle distance between the surgery and the point where I could start joking around about it.

My overnight stay went by quickly, although I certainly didn't sleep very much. The nurse scared me by telling me that if I didn't pee on my own by 8 pm, they were going to put a catheter back in me. I drank so much water and apple juice from 4 o'clock on that I not only peed on my own by 8:30, I went every freaking hour on the hour for the rest of the night. Hey, at least I didn't need the catheter.

The past week has been harder than I expected. There have been a lot more ups and downs, whereas I thought it would just be this curve of feeling a little bit better every day. Food's been an issue, as my appetite has just been everywhere. I was experiencing, how shall we say...some adverse affects from the anesthesia that were leaving me, well, painfully backed up until Friday. In addition, I had gasses trapped inside my body cavity (yeah, it's just as gross as it sounds) that were making things extremely uncomfortable through Wednesday; that's an unfortunate side effect of abdominal surgery as well.

I was able to take very small walks around my development starting Wednesday, nothing more than 10-15 minutes. Yesterday was the first day that I actually felt mostly like myself, but less bouncy. I experienced a bit of cabin fever, and Pinchloaf and I walked the biggest circle in my neighborhood I'd walked yet. I think I'm in a better place than a lot of other women who have been through the same procedure, but it's still frustrating not being able to exercise at least a little more. I have a feeling I'll be incredibly bored by Wednesday, but still won't really want to go back to work next Monday.

Thanks to all my family and friends who have been so supportive throughout this ordeal. Ames has come over almost daily to keep me company, and my mom has come every day to fix me lunch. A group of my co-workers sent me flowers, as did Colon (the daisies are still going strong!). The phone calls and emails have been most welcome and have helped immeasurably in my recovery process. And of course, Pinchloaf has been endlessly patient and nurturing, catering to my every need and whim. It feels good to be past the worst.

Memorial Day Weekend 2007: Natty Bridge and the Old Rag

2007-05-29T13:44:00.000-05:00

Pinchloaf and I decided to take advantage of the local sights and do something somewhat local this weekend. On the agenda? Natural Bridge and Old Rag Mountain in southwestern VA.

Natural Bridge was pretty, all historic Washington and Jefferson blah blah history-cakes:

But really, the place to see is the nearby free Foamhenge, a life-sized replica of Stonehenge made out of, yes, foam:

On Sunday we drove to Sperryville, VA after staying overnight in Harrisonburg. The goal was to hike Old Rag Mountain, a fairly tough hike that I hadn't done since I was 13 or 14 years old. We did the entire 8.5 mile loop in 4 hours flat. I'd forgotten how tough some of the rock scramble can be, but it was really fun and well worth it.

Here's Pinchloaf playing Phil Keoghan from the Amazing Race. "This majestic view overlooking the Shenandoah Valley is the 5th pitstop...in a racearoundtheworld."

Here's me looking at the purty view.

And a taste of the many, many rocks we had to traverse. For reals, there were some points where we were thinking, "uhhhhh, do they really want us to climb up there?"

I have only one more weekend before the convalescing ensues. Ames and I are thinking a tame 5K outta take me out of commission in style.

Revisiting the New Year's Resolution

2007-05-23T07:15:00.000-05:00

I went to the dentist yesterday for my six-month cleaning. You may or may not recall that one of my New Year's resolutions this year was to take better care of my teeth, especially in the flossing department.

I am pleased to report that while I am not up to flossing every day consistently, I am flossing 5-7 days a week regularly now (up from about 2 days a week before. Gross, I know). As a result, my hygenist was pleased, the time it took for her to scrape all the nasty business off was much shorter, and I wasn't left with bleedy, nasty, sore gums this time! Yaaaaaay.

However, the hygenist was perplexed by the pink filling she found in my back lower right tooth. "Pink filling?" I questioned. That seemed odd. She started prodding the pink filling with her little scrapey stabby thing. "Do you eat a lot of hard candy?" she asked. "No," I answered, "but I do chew a lot of gum..." Yes, after a minute or so of vigorous scraping, she managed to remove the fossilized piece of gum that had adhered itself to an actual, normal-colored filling in my tooth. I don't want to think about it too much, but I am glad that it was sugarless gum.

The dentist came by, looked around my mouth, and pleasantly announced that I have two cavities and a filling that needs replaced. That's my reward for upping my oral hygiene? More dental work? Bah. Makes me want to give up on the flossing thing again.

Garden State Roller Girls RULE!

2007-05-14T08:34:00.000-05:00

I really meant to post on Friday to wish Colon luck on her very first bout with the Garden State Roller Girls, but circumstances beyond my control prevented me from doing so. Namely, work was a bitch. Such is life.

But I am pleased to report that they won, Colon did very well, and you can read the full report direct from the skater's blog here. Their next bout is in September and I plan on doing everything in my power to attend. Congratulations!

Surprisingly, I don't want to die

2007-05-07T07:21:00.000-05:00

The half-marathon was yesterday morning. It was physically probably the hardest thing I've ever done. Ames and I got there early enough that we were able to participate in the non-competitive early starting time of 6:30. In the freaking morning. The course ran along the GW Parkway beside the Potomac, and it really was lovely. The temperature was a little chillier than I'd hoped, but once we were running it was actually quite pleasant.

The first seven miles went by fairly quickly and easily. I was surprised when Ames told me that we'd already been running for over an hour. The next fifteen minutes after that went okay, but it was around mile eight that I really started to, um, hurt. Specifically, my hamstrings and calves were seizing up in both legs every time we stopped for water.

I actually had to walk for a while to kind of stretch my legs out, but then I was able to start running again. This happened several times, but I think I only walked about a mile total. I actually managed to run to the finish line. Ames pulled ahead of me at around mile nine and finished five full mintues before me. My official time was 2 hours, 37 minutes and probably some seconds in there as well. So I averaged a 12 minute mile, which isn't terrible for the longest I'd ever run in my life. Ever. (I ran seven miles on the treadmill back in March, which was the most I'd run prior to this.)

Pinchloaf made me an awesome breakfast of turkey sausage and scrambled eggs with cheese, red pepper, and chives when I got home. What a sweetheart. I spent the rest of the day sleeping, reading, or watching TV on the couch. My legs are little stiff today, and my abs and shoulders are sore, too, but really, I'm okay.

I don't know if I'll do this again. I know I won't go for a full marathon, but the half might be something to attempt again, at least to get a better time. I know what I did wrong this time: not enough training. I ate the right things beforehand and drank plenty of water, I just didn't condition my body enough. I don't know how long I'll be out of commission after my surgery, but at the very least perhaps I'll be able to do this again in the late fall. If not, there's always next year to try again.

Something at last to Freak Out about?

2007-04-30T13:54:00.000-05:00

I haven't been posting much lately. At least not with any real regularity, and there is an actual reason. I found out three or so weeks ago that I have subserosal fibroids, three of them to be exact, one of which is a whopping twelve cm in size. I had gone to my lady-parts doctor for a routine exam, which is how and when they were discovered.

Now this is not a life-threatening condition by any means, but it has still been occupying about 75% of my thought processes since I found out. Especially since the course of action my doctor wants to take in order to remove them is surgical in nature. Specifically, this kind of surgery.

The fibroids will be removed through a five cm incision, which is better than the c-section cut my doctor was initially considering. It will still require an overnight stay in the hospital, and I have a feeling it will knock me on my ass more than I think it will.

My work has been understanding, which is fantastic as I'm looking at 2-3 weeks away from work for recovery. The surgery's been scheduled for June 4, which isn't too far off, but I'd still rather it be sooner. I wasn't going to say anything about my "situation" on my blog, but then I realized that was kind of silly since this serves as a journal of sorts for me, and while I'm choosy about the topics I write about, I shouldn't censor myself to the point of leaving out something as major as this.

Sorry if this entry's a little disconnected. I'm still trying to wrap my head around all of this.

I refuse to freak out anymore

2007-04-23T14:31:00.000-05:00

I had a really nice weekend, y'all. It was just so...nice. First of all, Skarzipan, my BFF formerly known as Colon, was in town over the weekend. She was really going to a roller derby practice in Baltimore, but managed to swing by on Saturday afternoon and evening. As usual, it was lovely to see her. My favorite part of her visit was the 70 minute walk we went on that included butt-blasting hills. We used to go for walks just about every single week when she lived in NoVa, and I definitely miss that.

Ames and I went for a run on Sunday, as the half-marathon is a mere two weeks away and neither of us is feeling particularly prepared. We ran for 35 minutes and then walked for another 45. That's right, we walked. Sigh. We've both been suffering from a lack of motivation.

Ames has a recurring injury to excuse her motivation issues, but I don't really have an excuse. I've been working out, but the nasty April weather was putting a damper on my relationship with the outdoors. We'll still do the half-marathon, but we might end up being part of the lame crowd who walks. I won't freak out about it. It's just not worth freaking out over.

The weather was beautiful both days, and it was definitely great to get out and enjoy that. Pinchloaf and I are hoping to go somewhere out of doors in the weekend coming up as well. Good times. Sigh.

Update: Skarzipan informed me that she would like to continue being known as Colon in my blog. So Colon she shall remain! Or, you know, the Artist Formerly Known as Colon. AFKC for short.

Review: Heaven on a Spoon

2007-04-12T10:23:00.000-05:00

I'm a big fan of ice cream. If there's one thing I'm grateful to Weight Watchers for, it's the fact that I could still eat ice cream, week after week, and manage to lose 30 pounds last year. I had to deprive myself of other foods that were more nutritionally complete in order to do so, but oh well. No really, oh well. I refuse to deny myself the one food item that makes my life so very, very complete.

I've been on the lookout for Americone Dream for several weeks now. I saw it in the store once, stupidly ignored it, and haven't seen it since. Last night I came across Cinnamon Buns and promptly died and went to heaven.

I'm not a huge fan of cinnamon buns, or even cinnamon itself really, but I do love all things caramel related and man...they did a number on this one. The ice cream base is sweet and doesn't have an overpowering caramel flavor to it; it's nicely subtle. The cinnamon bun dough chunks are reminiscent of cookie dough ice cream, without the stupid chocolate chips to mess with the texture. But the crowning achievement is that caramel struesel ribbon infused throughout the carton. It's super-sweet and cinnamony with a slightly grainy texture that sends waves of bliss dancing across the tongue.

I had to stop myself from eating the whole carton in one sitting (if only because I'd overdosed on ice cream the night before as well). That struesel ribbon is just to die for. I'm not even a huge fan of Ben and Jerry's at this point, frankly I prefer Haagen Dazs, but B & J sure did put together a winner with this one. I'll give it a solid A- with the minus being...well, simply because I'm loathe to give anything a perfect score.

Update: The Ben and Jerry's website won't link directly to individual flavors, a phenomenon I find baffling and irritating all at the same time. That's why I inserted the specific flavors' names.

I'm Freaaakin' Out!!!

2007-04-04T07:39:00.000-05:00

You wanna know why I'm freakin' out? Because I went for a run last night outside for the first time in about two weeks, and it suuuuuucked. Like, really, really sucked. The half-marathon is in 4 1/2 weeks. I'm screwwwwwed.

I've been running on the treadmill all winter. I even increased my pace. But running outside? That's a totally different story. Part of the reason the run went badly is that my shoes are giving me major problems. Blisters GALORE, which turned me into a hobbling freak. At one point, I ran past one of those speed indicators set up by police in residential neighborhoods. I clocked in at a paltry 5 mph. Usually my baseline is 6 mph, but I can run a steady 6.5 when I'm feeling good. Humph.

Another reason it sucked? Well, I can't pinpoint another reason. I had a stitch in my side for most of the 45 minute run. It was painful. I'm proud of myself because I felt like stopping after about 20 minutes but continued for another 25. But at what price? My feet are all kinds of tore up now.

So I'm feeling pessimistic about the half-marathon right now, which is upsetting because I really want to do it and I want it to go well. I guess I just need to step things up in the training department for the next 4 weeks and take the race as it comes. Yes, that's the optimistic spirit!

I'd like to take this opportunity to say that I love google. I wanted a specific picture of Millhouse for the beginning of this post. I went to google images, typed in "Simpsons Millhouse I'm freaking out" and this was the first picture that came up. Awe-some. Kisses, google!

Pits of Fire

2007-03-30T12:52:00.000-05:00

For about a year now, I've eschewed regular deodorant/antiperspirant in favor of a more all-natural approach. No, I'm not afraid of getting Alzheimer's from the aluminum found in commercial antiperspirants, I have just turned into a rabid fan of all Lush bath products, so I use this instead.

Because this product is not an antiperspirant, it did take some getting used to. However, I love its delicate, floral smell, and that smell does last quite a long time, even if I am a bit sweaty. The only drawback to this wonderful product is that it causes a bit of underarm irritation. Some days are worse than others, and once every couple of weeks it gets so bad that I find myself scratching my armpits with unabashed vigor. Today is one of those days. My armpits are on fire, FIRE, I tell you!

This irritation has not caused me to go back to traditional deodorants, however. In fact, the smell of those is really artificial to me now, almost nauseatingly so. I think I'll stick to making people think I'm odd for surreptitiously scratching at my pits. At least I smell fantastic.

This should make my husband proud...

2007-03-28T14:51:00.000-05:00

And I'm done taking quizzes today (at least done posting the results here).

You are 96% Pittsburgh.

Great job! There's nooooo doubt about it. You're from Da Burgh. You deserve a reward, so go have an Ahrn City or two. And GO STILLERS!

How Pittsburgh Are You
See All Our Quizzes

Like this will surprise anyone

2007-03-28T14:46:00.001-05:00

I got this off of Jocelyn's blog...

What Be Your Nerd Type? Your Result: Literature Nerd Does sitting by a nice cozy fire, with a cup of hot tea/chocolate, and a book you can read for hours even when your eyes grow red and dry and you look sort of scary sitting there with your insomniac appearance? Then you fit this category perfectly! You love the power of the written word and it's eloquence; and you may like to read/write poetry or novels. You contribute to the smart people of today's society, however you can probably be overly-critical of works. It's okay. I understand.
Musician
Social Nerd
Drama Nerd
Artistic Nerd
Gamer/Computer Nerd
Science/Math Nerd
Anime Nerd
What Be Your Nerd Type? Quizzes for MySpace

A Word to the Wise

2007-03-28T13:32:00.000-05:00

If you're feeling grumpy because you ruined an awesome evening at a hockey game with your husband by going to said hockey game with an ex, I have a little piece of advice for you: Don't go back through old emails to remind yourself further why the ex is such an utter douche. It'll actually make you feel worse about yourself rather than better.

Instead, chalk up the ruined evening to a lesson learned, gaze fondly into your beloved husband's big brown eyes, and congratulate yourself on your overall good fortune for having escaped that mess. And remember, you're under no obligation to remain friends with someone with whom you used to have a relationship. In fact, you're probably better off if you don't remain friends. Hopefully I'll actually take my own advice this time. Go Penguins!

Bah, stupid interweb

2007-03-21T14:20:00.000-05:00

I wrote a post about banana guard, and how awesome and useful it is, then the interweb ate my post. Boo.

Anyway, isn't the banana guard so weird and awesome and disturbing? I mean, it's a great concept, but its execution...well I don't think I need to lead anyone down that particular path. You all know where I'm going with this.

Spring has Sprung

2007-03-14T08:20:00.000-05:00

I know that spring is officially on its way because twice in one week now there have been birds in my stairwell. The first time is was a robin, similar to the one mentioned in that post. She wasn't building a nest (yet), but she flew down the back stairs with relative ease. Crisis averted.

This morning, however, there was some sparrow-type wren sort of thing frantically flapping against the giant window in the front stairwell. I eeped a little shriek of distress and ran down the back stairs before it could land in my freshly washed and flat-ironed hair or make a doody on my white Italy Puma warm-up jacket.

As I tramped through the dew-laden grass to get to the sidewalk I felt kind of bad for the bird. All freaked out and no one to help it. Hopefully someone else will have helped it out of the stairs by the time I get home this evening. I'm not usually germ-phobic, but birds...I just see them as these harbingers of disease for some reason. Pigeons, seagulls, crows, Canadian geese: all filthy, noisy, and disgusting. I just totally freaked myself out at the thought of a Canadian goose up in my stairwell. I have to go wash my hands now.

Update: My brave and valiant husband has informed me that he shooed the bird down when he left for work this morning. And this was before he read my post. My hero!

What else is there to talk about first thing in the morning?

2007-03-09T08:31:00.000-05:00

The Red-Headed Italian and I had a pretty interesting IM convo this morning. I really thought it was too good not to share with everyone else:
RHI: hey pretty pretty, i just wanted to get on and share my new favorite laffytaffy joke with someone - anyone - and it looks like you are the only person online (and lucky victim)
me: hey! hit me with the laffy taffy joke!
RHI: So, tell me, Karen... Which garden has the most vegetables?
me: hmmmmm...I give up!
RHI: FLASH GARDEN
me: uhhhhhh...guh? I don't get it.
RHI: yes, i know, it works on SO many levels LOL. i don't get it either
me: LOL
RHI: but because i don't, i can't shake the feeling that it is somehow the deepest, most thought out laffy taffy joke ever
me: Clearly. We're just waaaay too stupid to comprehend its deep meaningfulness...does that make it better, or worse than the bazooka joe comics?
RHI: i dunno really
me: some of those are really incomprehensible
RHI: yeah, i haven't read any of those in a long time
me: which flavor laffy taffy did you eat? lemme guess..apple?
RHI: nope
me: banana?
RHI: nooooope
me: blue raspberry?
RHI: nnnnnnoooooo
me: cherry!
RHI: gosh, no, LMAO
me: ummmmmmm GRAPE!
RHI: no, lol
me: I suck! orange?
RHI: no...there's orange?
me: what other flavors are left?
RHI: LMAO
me: I don't think there's orange, I was just stabbing in the dark
RHI: ah
me: geez...okay, tell me
RHI: here's a clue - it looks like the doggie in your picture is eating the flavor
[I have a picture of a doggie chewing a little pinkish rubber bone on my IM]
me: ooooooh...watermelon!
RHI: LOL
me: am I right?
RHI: no
me: ARGH!!!!! you're kidding me!
RHI: okay, i'll tell you, but you guessed so many times you have to make out with me now
me: it's not watermelon?! Ohhhhhh STRAWBERRY!
RHI: YES! lol strawberry
me: omg- I'm retartded! re-TART-ded
RHI: mmmm, tart
me: like strawberry!
RHI: speaking of, strawberry flavor is kinda sour - none of the others in the laffy family are as sour
me: that's odd...usually the blue raspberry one is sour, or the green apple...I prefer airheads to laffy taffy honestly
RHI: oh, y'know, i don't think i've ever had the raspberry or the apple...oh, I DO TOO!
me: I know airheads has those flavors, laffy taffy might not
RHI: yeah - i think there actually is an apple one, all i've had are strawberrry, banana, and grape
me: this? is the best convo ever!!! :)
RHI: i know! oh, guess what?
me: what?
RHI: i have a piece of eyeball gum filled with a sour liquid that stains your mouth a surprise color
me: LOL
RHI: i'm saving it for a special occasion
me: I was NOT expecting you to say that! a surprise color, eh? sounds...mysterious!
RHI: yeah, the wrapper doesn't say - it just says something like scary eyeball gum w/mega sour mouth staining liquid center or something like that i dunno
me: I wonder who the genius is who came up with that brilliant piece of copy?
RHI: yeah, one day i hope it'll be me
me: "Mega sour mouth staining liquid center!"
RHI: what a sweet job
me: seriously, I would love to write copy for candy manufacturers, or, like, Pottery Barn
RHI: lol
The other great thing about this IM conversation is that TONS of ads for candy came up as we were writing. I luuuurve gmail!

Would $80 million dollars make you happy?

2007-03-08T10:14:00.000-05:00

As I'm sure many of you are aware, there have been some pretty big lottery jackpots lately, upwards of $280 million dollars just waiting to be won! People in my office go around from time to time, collecting dollar bills from others who are willing to go in on the hopes of a winning ticket. I don't usually participate, but the last couple of times I threw in a buck, 'cuz really, how upsetting would it be if everyone else won money and I was left out in the cold?

Well, we didn't win. Not surprising, but it sparked some discussion at my end of the hallway. Would winning $80 million dollars make you happy? I said undoubtely yes, because it's enough money that even after taxes you can give liberally to family, spoil friends with gifts, donate to a couple of charities, get yourself a sweet pad, and still never have to work again. Ski Accident Guy said that while he wouldn't turn down the money, it wouldn't make him happy because he'd probably just end up bored for the rest of his life and subject to family drama over the money. We proceeded to poll the remaing people around us, all of whom said that it would make them happy. Take THAT, Ski Accident Guy!

So readers, the question is this: do you think that much money would make you happy, or would it ultimately be your emotional undoing? I realize this sort of thing has been pondered before, but I'm wondering what my smart, with-it readers think (all three of you).

I thought today was going to be lame

2007-03-02T10:00:00.000-05:00

But actually, I think it's going to be pretty good. The reason I thought it was going to be lame is because when I ordered a double-tall, skim, one-pump toffee nut latte this morning, I asked for no whip. And they put whip on it. So I had to make a mess at the condiment bar scraping off as much whip as I could off the top of my drink.

The other reason I was convinced it would be relatively bad was because about two feet from my office building door, I stepped on a rogue sidewalk tile. The sidewalks by my office consist of these slate tiles that are probably a foot square. They're supposed to lie flat and joined, but there are frequently loose tiles that shift when you step on them. I've seen people trip over them, and they oftentimes catch one off guard as one doesn't expect the earth to move under his or her feet.

Anyway, that's not such a big deal, stepping on a loose tile on any given dry day. But it had rained quite a bit last night, and I when I stepped on the loose tile, a veritable tidal wave of rainwater that was trapped underneath came splooooooshing up and drenched me from the knees down. Greeeaaaaaaatt.

But then my manager came in, and she had with her a big basket of kitty cookies for me! She brought them in for my birthday and it was really sweet. They're the kind that I LOVE, too, the thick sugar cookie with the fancy icing. I took pictures of the cookies with my camera phone, but I don't know how to transfer them to my computer. And another co-worker gave me a birthday card along with a Starbucks card--woooooooo! My tights and boots have since dried out, and I'm full of cookie...I think it's going to be a great day!

Update: I found the cookie bouquet's company website and it looked pretty much like this. Soooo freaking cute!

Jumping on the bandwagon to complain

2007-02-27T08:17:00.000-05:00

I know I'm slow on the uptake, but after both Colon and Ames posted about commercials, I didn't really want to seem like a copycat or anything. However, after Crankster wrote this awesome post, it reminded me of precisely why I hated the commercials I was going to write about. Without further ado...the post:

Does anyone else HATE that H&R Block commercial where the sarcastic bitch of a wife emasculates her husband by talking to a box? In case you missed it, here's the scene: The sad sack is sitting in front of a laptop when his wife walks up and innocently asks, "What's wrong?"

"I'm stuck," he says, staring mournfully at the computer screen. Now, rather than saying something like, "What seems to be the problem?" or, "Maybe I can help you," she proceedes to humiliate him by asking the Turbo Tax box for help and pointing out that as an inanimate object, it can offer no guidance or support. Unless there's a phone number on the box he can call. Bet she didn't think of that. Anyway, her husband screwed up big-time because he thought he was smart enough to do their taxes himself. Pshhh. Idiot.

The other commercial that bugs me is one for Sears. That should be reason enough, but the content is really ridiculous. In this particular ad, a young woman stands in front of her fridge and bangs a glass against the door. When her boyfriend/husband asks her what she's doing, she says something along the lines of, "Oh, that's right...we don't have an ice maker!" The guy does his best to look chagrined, when really he should just be pissed. The next scene shows the couple standing in front of shiny, ice-making refrigerators next to a Sears sales associate. The woman is now smiling.

My problem with these commercials is this: it demonstrates that it is okay to be passive-aggressive in your relationship and to belittle your partner emotionally. I should clarify: it is okay for women to demonstrate these behaviors. If a man tried to pull this shit on TV, he'd simply be ridiculed or humiliated in some other fashion.

If the woman in the H&R Block commercial had such a problem with using Turbo Tax, why didn't she say so in the first place? If she's not even the one doing the taxes (and you did notice that, right? It's not a woman's place to do the taxes), then why the hell does she care if her husband tries to do them himself rather than getting a tax guy to do them? Yes, I realize that then we wouldn't have the impetus for a commerical, but work with me.

Same with the Sears lady: at what point did it become necessary in her relationship to act like a whiny, manipulative bitch instead of saying to her man, "I think we need a new fridge? Let's get one with an ice-maker!"?

Crankster pointed out the growing trend of "women are now better than men" in the media (going beyond equality of the sexes), and I think these commercials are a case-in-point. I don't see how it does people any good for the media to demonstrate passive-aggressiveness as an effective means of getting what you want. Last I checked, healthy relationships were not about one person making the other feel bad about him or herself (not that it never happens), and while it's certainly not as prevelant in the Sears commercial, take a look at the dude in the tax one: he is one miserable fellow. In fact, he's probably more upset about the fact that his wife noticed and came over to "help." He would've rather been left to be stuck all by himself. I can't say I blame him. I hope he's thinking that next year he'll get to file as "single."

I'm bored but it benefits you

2007-02-21T09:11:00.000-05:00

You may or may not have noticed my lovely new blog layout. Why yes, I am very busy these days, thanks for asking.

Colon visited over the weekend (woooo!) and we were lamenting our lack of collective computer skills. The nice thing about this blog stuff is that it's totally for dummies and if you take the time to wander around it for a couple of minutes, you can look all professional and web-designy. At least that's what I'm telling myself for now.

And now for a recap of the fun times I had over the weekend:
-My family came over for dinner (homemade pizza made by Pinchloaf and me, brownies provided by the lovely Ames)and in spite of setting off the smoke detector three times, I think everyone had fun.

-Went to see Music and Lyrics with Colon. We put what we thought was yummy shaky cheese on our big bag o' popcorn but soon realized it was, in fact, moisture-sucking "season salt." We ended up dumping out a good 1/3 of the bag in an attempt to rid ourselves of the pickling effect popcorn. We actually enjoyed the movie in spite of the crappy snackfood item.

-Watched Idiocracy at Chrishawn's. You should watch it too.

-Laughed hysterically with Colon at how HORRIBLE Kirsten Dunst is in Bring It On . Seriously, bitch cannot act. Plus, as my co-worker, Ski Accident Guy, pointed out, she looks like Billy Corgan.

I ran outside in the cold and failed miserably

2007-02-12T10:35:00.000-05:00

I haven't been running outside in about a month because it's been really cold and I'm a big baby. I'd see other people running outside and I think, "Wow, those people are hardcore. Off to the gym for me!" Pinchloaf has been giving me a bit of a hard time about it lately, so yesterday when it seemed like it was warm (comparitively speaking), I thought I'd put on my warmy running outfit and give it the old college try. My goal was to run for an hour.

The first 5 minutes or so seemed to be going well. The sun was shining and Pinchloaf had gotten me new sports-style headphones for my iPod that were awesome. I felt like I was warming up pretty well and starting to break a sweat. And then the wind blew. I carried on like a trooper for another 15 minutes, but my muscles tensed with every icy blast of air. What the hell was I thinking?

Luckily I wasn't very far from home at that point, so I bailed on the task. I walked briskly home with arms wrapped around myself in an attempt to keep my body temperature at a normal level. Not all of us are made of steel, so I shouldn't be too down on myself for the failure. Lesson learned: either get warmer workout clothes or just stick to staying indoors until the temperature gets above 40.

Things I ate yesterday that possibly did something good for my health and well-being

2007-02-08T08:41:00.000-05:00

-One (1) Fuji apple.

-One (1) Amy's organic bean and cheese burrito.

-One (1) very small bowl of Raisin Nut Bran cereal with skim milk.

Things I ate yesterday that did nothing for my health or well-being

2007-02-08T08:31:00.000-05:00

-Two (2) Krispy Kreme donuts, one raspberry-filled glazed, one chocolate-frosted, valentime's-sprinkled glazed.

-One (1) Russell Stover strawberry cream-filled chocolate heart.

-One-half (1/2) bag of guacamole-flavored Polenta chips.

-One (1) whole wheat tortilla (I know, not so bad, but wait) FLOODED with melty, gooey mozzarella cheese. Like, a ton.

-One (1) Newcastle beer while watching Lost at ChriShawn's.

What is going on here?

2007-02-07T11:10:00.000-05:00

There has been some sort of crazy rash of bad things happening to people I know lately, and it's kinda freaking me out a little bit. I hate to be a wet blanket, but things can't always be sunshine and roses now, can they?

A very good friend of mine lost her cat to cancer earlier this week. Her cat had been sick for awhile, but it's still a difficult thing to go through and she seems to be handling it admirably well. She and I have been friends for 18 years, and one of the things we've always had in common was our love for cats. Beauty and her two kittens were the first cats that were *hers* (meaning, not the family cat), and I know she held a very special place in my friend's heart.

My co-worker got in a skiing accident over the weekend and suffered a mild concussion. He's finally back in the office today, but is understandably shaken up and still hurting physically.

Another friend of ours got in a car accident last week that has left her temporarily unable to walk. Nothing broken, but badly bruised knees and torn tendons. She'll ulitmately be okay, but she's out of commission for awhile and in a fair bit of pain.

Still another co-worker of mine fell, sprained her ankle and badly scraped her knee, which doesn't seem so bad, but she's five months pregnant. Everything's okay, the baby's okay, but it's still kind of scary and really sucky to be all gimpy while you're pregnant and probably already feeling not so agile.

So again, sorry to be a Debbie Downer when I haven't been posting much to begin with lately, but these are the things that are on my mind. I'm thinking about every one of you who has been down on your luck lately, and I'm hoping that nothing bad happens to anyone else I know.

I succumbed to peer pressure

2007-01-30T08:27:00.000-05:00

My sister claimed that I wouldn't want to do a half-marathon with her. My sister was wrong. I signed up for it this morning.

I had been thinking that I would be ready to do a half-marathon in the late summer, or mayhaps early fall. The race is taking place on May 6th. All of fourteen weeks away. Although when I put it in those terms, it does still seem like a long ways off. We do have all of February, March, and April to train, and we both have successfully run a 10k, so this is in the realm of possibilities.

I would be lying, though, if I said I wasn't experiencing some level of trepidation. I know that I can accomplish this, and in a relatively timely fashion, but for one who used to hate to run, this seems like the craziest idea that ever crazied. But I am on board.

Not to change the subject abruptly, but I knew this morning I needed to shave my legs because I had a dream last night that my leg hair was about six inches long and three different colors. It was fascinating, if not more than a little alarming.

I don't have anything in particular to say

2007-01-23T13:06:00.000-05:00

It's just that I know I'm going to actually be busy later in the week, so I should post something, I suppose. So here is the news in brief:

* I'm not working out as much as I should, but thankfully haven't seemed to gain any weight. I know I'll get warm once I get to the gym, but it's too cold to even get there to begin with.

* My foot was bothering me last week, but the chiropractor did this crazy test with a tuning fork to check for fractures and nothing hurt, so I guess that's a good sign.

* I saw Pan's Labyrinth with Pinchloaf last weekend (AWESOME!) and The Painted Veil with my sister the following day. I have a feeling I would've liked the latter a lot more if I hadn't seen it the day after watching the most awesomest movie ever. It was still good, though.

* I'm oddly excited about the new season of Road Rules on MTV. I know that's sad, but it's gotta be better than The Real World: Denver and I've already had my fill of 24 for the season.

*I'm tired of feeling like I'm the only one in the office who changes the damn giant water cooler jug. And when I do change it, which is, like, every other day, I'm really tired of hearing someone say, "Oh, that's too heavy for you! Let's get [insert name of male co-worker here] to do it!"

Seriously, I'm boring myself with this post, so I apologize. Just feel like I gotta keep my hand in this. More interesting things to come. At least I hope...

As far as I'm concerned, this is NSF Anything

2007-01-12T11:22:00.000-05:00

On Yahoo's homepage, they currently have a news story about how eating eggs for breakfast helps you, I don't know, lose weight, or lower cholesteral, or something like that (well, I know the cholesteral part probably isn't true, but whatever). Anyway, I don't want to read the article because I'm seriously grossed out by the accompanying photo:

I'm not sure why the image disturbs me so greatly. Is it the eyeless face? The fact that the woman doesn't seem to have opened her mouth wide enough to accomodate the girth of egg balanced on her fork? Or perhaps it's the fact that we're subjected to someone shoveling eggs into her glossy mouth in the first place? I mean, I don't think I'd really like to see her mouth open any wider, honestly. I've seen shots of Nicole Ritchie "eating" on The Superfical more than enough times.

I really think they should've just stuck with a stock photo of plated eggs. You know: shiny, greasy, diner-quality scrambled eggs. Over-easy would've been fine, too. I kinda feel bad for the model. Does she get to brag to her friends that she was the egg girl on Yahoo?

Rock the Vote

2007-01-08T13:58:00.000-05:00

I've been toying with the idea of getting a vanity license plate for several years now. They're pretty cheap in Virginia ($10 a year), but I was never sure what would go in that hallowed space. What is representational of me without being overly silly or cryptic?

At one point I was going to use my grandmother's old vanity plate: VSM 100. While that would be sweet, it's a little boring (no offense, Grandma!). I was going to get one that said KARBEN, but Pinchloaf and I decided it was too cutesy. Did we want to be that couple? We've been discussing it for several weeks now (no, we don't have anything better to talk about, thanks for asking), but haven't come to any conclusions. This weekend he suggested that I leave it up to my readers. So leave it up to you I shall!

Please vote for your top three choices in my comments section. All of the words mentioned are currently listed as being available on Va's dmv website. We were trying for seven-letter words that meant something standing alone, no abbreviations or symbol use. Your choices are:

MEOWING
OCELOTS
ASININE
MACAQUE
ADVERBS
UNIKRON (the exception to our spelling rule--k'ron is my sci-fi name and you all know of my love for unicorns)
ARRRGGH
COSMIST
DADAISM
AGONIZE (or AGONISE, depending on your spelling preferrence)
CARBON (which would be less cutesy than KARBEN, but mean essentially the same thing)

Let the voting begin!

I resolve...

2007-01-05T08:23:00.000-05:00

1. I resolve to floss my teeth every night before bed.
This is something I should be doing, I know, I know. I used to be very diligent about it. I even had a couple of dentist visits go very well, all because of the flossing. But somewhere along the line it fell to the wayside. No more. My last visit to the dentist in November was painful. I had no cavities, but man, they sure weren't happy with me. I'm only 30. I have relatively good teeth. I want to keep them for another 50+ years. So that means I just need to floss.

2. I resolve to wash my face before bed every night.
Yes, this is another no-brainer. I am fortunate in that I have pretty good skin, and I noticed that when I didn't wash my face at night, the only thing that happened the next day was that I woke up with mascara all over my undereyes. No pimples, blackheads, whiteheads or other blemishes. AND I got to go to bed 5 minutes sooner. Again, I'm only 30, but I have noticed some...well...shall we say, signs of aging? Therefore, a good skin-care regimen is vitally important. It should include removing what little makeup I wear, and using moisturizer at night.

3. I resolve to cut high-fructose corn syrup from my diet.
This one may be a little odd, but I'm not very good at eliminating things completely from my diet (read: ice cream and chocolate). However, I realized about 4 years ago that MSG gave me splitting headaches. So I decided to avoid it at all costs. What did that mean for me? No more Cheetos, Doritos, flavored chips of all kinds...it cut out an entire salty, processed food group, but what could I do? The stuff is foul. In a similar fashion, high-fructose corn syrup makes me want to eat more of whatever item contains said evil sugar. Therefore, it must be eliminated completely.

This is going to be hard, though. Did you know that Heinz ketchup contains HFCS? Yes, the only ketchup deemed acceptable by my husband (who doesn't even eat that much ketchup) has it. WTF? We just bought some whole grain Fig Newton bars, thinking they would be tasty and marginally healthy. I didn't read the box until after we bought them. Yep, they have it. Nutter Butters? Mmm-hmmmmm. The Snickers Marathon protein bars I got for free at the 10K? Yep. I know you're thinking, DUH, Karen, it's a Snickers bar, but it's supposed to be a nutrition bar! I guess I'm naive.

We already do most of our grocery shopping at Whole Foods, so I know I'm on the right track. It's just astounding how many things have HFCS in them that don't need it. I'm pretty sure organic Heinz doesn't have it...I bet the original formula from 1890-whenever didn't have it. So annoying.

Sorry, I didn't mean for that to turn into a rant about high-fructose corn syrup (it was supposed to be an embarrassing tribute to my lack of personal hygiene), but is it any wonder why America's so fat? Anyway, I really could go on about this all day, but I want people to read this and not think I'm some raving lunatic who thinks that food is evil.

I had a great year last year and I'm hoping that this year will be even better. With my shiny, shiny teeth, glowing skin, and lack of HFCS in my system, what could go wrong?

I ran in the dark without Killing Myself

2007-01-04T09:07:00.000-05:00

Did everyone have a lovely Christmas? No? Oh. Well, I had a lovely Christmas in that I got to spend time with both my family and the inlaws and did not feel compromised or conflicted in any way, AND I got mad spoils to boot! Seriously, it was a great Christmas and I feel all blessed and lucky and whatnot.

Included among the wonderful gifts I got was a reflective running vest. You know, the kind you see the SERIOUS runners wearing out in the dark so they don't get hit by cars? The ones that make you look incredibly dorky? Yeah, I got one of those. Apparently my husband is concerned for my safety or something like that. Awwwwww.

As you may or may not recall, I had attempted to run outside after daylight savings only to find it very dark and foreboding, what with my inability to see in the dark and all. I'd given up all hope, especially after Colon told me how she tried to run in the dark and bit it pretty hard. I figured I'd run outside in the evening when spring came again.

Well, the vest gave me hope, even though it sheds no light on the sidewalk. I still felt safter and far more visible, so I figured I'd give running outside a go again, especially since I wanted to add a day of cardio, but not add a day at the gym. So last night, I strapped on the vest and I ran. And I'm here to tell you now, I did not trip or even stumble, nor did I come close to being hit by any car. A new era has arrived.

Excerpt from email to Colon...

2007-01-03T14:52:00.000-05:00

Okay, I know I should blog this, but at the same time, I don't know if I should. This morning my ear itched, and I pulled out this huge blob of dark orange wax from my ear with my fingernail. It was soooooooooo gross and at the same time incredibly fascinating. I think it may be too gross to blog about, but of course it's not too gross to share with you! Blog, or no blog? I hate my ears.

End of excerpt. It really was crazy weird. The wife of one of Pinchloaf's co-workers offered to "candle" my ears at the holiday party. Well, she wasn't going to candle them at the party itself, but that's where we were when she extended the offer. If the salon where she works wasn't in MD, I'd totally take her up on it because every time I go to the doctor, he sighs when he looks in my ears and says, "They're blocked with wax." Of course they are. When I do attempt to clean my ears, I jam the q-tips in there so far that I can't hear squat for days afterward.

I think my left one is less blocked now though, based on the wad of crazy, crazy stuff that came out of there this morning. I don't think it's odd that I'm fascinated by it. I'm sure everyone is fascinated by the strange things that come out of their heads. Isn't there some McSweeny's book called Your Disgusting Head? If there isn't, there sure as heck should be.

I have New Year's resolutions, but I think I'll save those for a different post. Although they are hygiene-related, so perhaps they do belong here. Man, all I gotta say is: it's a good thing I'm married 'cuz I'm kinda gross.

Evidence that I'm achingly hot

2006-12-13T15:45:00.000-05:00

Amy and I did a 10K on Sunday and they sent me an action shot from the race. That super-sexy picture can be mine for only $5! I'm more annoyed that I can't copy it or save it to upload to my Myspace profile. I really want it for all the world to see.

My favorite part of the picture (besides my open mouth/closed eyes combo) is the woman behind me in the reindeer horns. I love how she looks all fresh and triumphant with her fists in the air in MY picture. I wonder if she knew the photograph was coming and posed for it a little too soon, or if she just ran the whole dang race pumping her arms to keep her spirits up.

At least Amy looks cute in her picture. I think it's the hat. Next time we run, I have to get an adorable hat, and then it won't matter if my mouth is weirdly open and my eyes are closed when I'm running.

I'm editing this to add that I just looked at the photo's website again, and actually the photos are really expensive! I thought it was only $5, but no, the cheapest thing is $20! What a gyp! I'm outraged--can't you tell by my excessive use of exclamation points?!

My own overload of cuteness

2006-12-08T09:57:00.000-05:00

Pinchloaf and I have submitted pictures of Dena and Archie to Cute Overload before and they've never been posted, so I thought it was time to take matters into my own hands. I'm sure you're all sick of it, but I just had to share the fluffiness, especially since it's so dang cold today. Time to bring out the warm fuzzies.

And the view from the back as they drink from the sink:

Wow, I feel warmer already! I guess I don't need to go for that second Starbucks run.

Yay! I'm the prettiest!

2006-12-05T09:34:00.000-05:00

Which Princess Bride Character are You?
this quiz was made by

Screw you, Billy Blanks

2006-12-05T09:00:00.000-05:00

My sister left a Tae Bo DVD at my house the other day in the hopes that Pinchloaf will be able to burn a copy of it for her (she got it through Netflix). On Sunday I decided it was too cold and too far to walk the 7 minutes to the gym (or even drive the 3 minutes), so I thought I would try this Tae Bo thing. They say it's a good idea to mix up your workouts.

The video requires you to use "resistance bands," but since I had none, I used either 3 or 7 pound handweights instead, depending on the muscle group being targeted. While I was doing the workout, I didn't feel like it was particularly intense. There were instances, yes, where my arms got tired, or my legs started to burn from the many, many squats, but afterwards I felt less tired than I usually do after a 55-minute workout. I was, however, more annoyed than usual because Billy Blanks spent the last 5 minutes of the video thanking God for this opportunity to boss me around, and instructing me to thank God for this opportunity for him to boss me around as well. Oh, Billy, I was kind of okay with you until those last 5 minutes. I'd much rather cool down with the soothing words of Denise Austin: "Your spine is your lifeline. Keep it healthy, keep it supple, keep it strong."

Yesterday morning I woke up in the most pain I'd felt since I'd first started working out. My upper arms, shoulders, and back were all extremely sore, as were my hamstrings. I could barely walk. Well, that's fine, I was going to take Monday off from working out anyway. I hobbled around all day, wincing and attempting to stretch with no relief. I took it easy last night and hoped for the best today.

Today I'm still, STILL, really freaking sore. Really sore. Again, I know it's good to mix things up, but this is rediculous. I can't bend down to pick a paper clip off the floor without actually getting down on the floor. I'm going to workout tonight, but not push it too hard. Mostly I just want to warm up my muscles enough that I can stretch pretty well. And Mr Blanks, I've heard enough out of you. You can take your resistance bands, and your thanks to God, and your creepy, weirdly enthusiastic cult follower video participants and stick 'em somewheres (and I think you know wheres).

Who peed in your coffee, lady?

2006-11-29T15:18:00.000-05:00

Now, there are a bunch of people who regularly ride the bus with me and who I intensly dislike for one reason or another. There's the woman from my neighborhood with a horrible, dowdy haircut who couldn't be more than 37 but dresses in hideously matronly clothes. She always, ALWAYS cuts in front of everyone when the time comes to board the bus regardless of when she arrived at the stop. This really irritates me because I feel like there's an unspoken rule: if you got to the stop last, you board last, Ms. Buttinsky. Plus she reads the Wall Street Journal, which I find to be so freaking pretentious. Just read US Weekly like the rest of us! It fuels my hatred. Her perpetual bitchface contributes to my hatred as well.

I haven't seen her recently, but another woman caught my attention. A couple of months ago I mentioned a crazy huffing, puffing lady who I sat next to on the bus the morning of 9/11. She was upset because traffic was bad because people were all freaked out. Oh well, just read your paper (she at least reads the much more acceptable Washington Post) and know that everyone's having the same problem as you. You aren't the only person on the bus, or in this world. Which brings me to my point:

I got on the bus yesterday morning and it was fairly full, as is usually the case. Every seat had at least one occupant, so I went to the seat by the back door and said, "Excuse me," to the person already there because she had her three bags all over the empty seat. She made a huge production of putting her bags in her lap and in the process, she rumpled her open paper. As I settled into the now bagless seat with my book, she apparently became so enraged at having a seatmate on a mode of public transportation that she angrily wadded up her newpaper and stuffed it into one of her bags. It was then that I realized I was sitting next to Ms. 9/11 herself.

For the duration of the trip she muttered to herself and glared out the window. I read my book, blissfully ignoring her. I mean really, if you want a seat all to yourself, TAKE YOUR CAR. This morning she was on the bus again, and this time she was sitting in an outside seat with her bags spread out on the inside one (why does she take three bags to work anyway?). I thought about saying, "Excuse me" and making her move over, but the seat I really wanted was actually open, so I took that one instead. I knew I could still piss her off, though. When the bus arrived at the Pentagon, I jumped up and stood in the doorwell before she could gather her many, many things and therefore, she was second off the bus instead of first. I'm pretty sure that spoiled her day beyond belief.

It just seems so inconsiderate to do everything in your power to make others less comfortable. The fact that I even have to say, "Excuse me" to take a seat on a bus really irks me. Wait 'til you get on the highway, then spread your shit out all over the place. You know how you could prevent newspaper rumplage? Situate your things on your lap before you start reading and don't assume that no one will want to sit next to you just because you've driven away all your family members and co-workers. Strangers don't know that you're intolerable, at least not initially. They'll figure it out pretty quickly, though, but then you have to train a whole new set of strangers when you hit Starbucks.

Super Smiling Fun-times Weekend!

2006-11-20T10:24:00.000-05:00

This weekend I took a train to the land of the north to visit my very good friend, Colon Full o' Carrots. (Please note that Colon is pronounced "Koh-lohhhh," I just can't figure out how to put in accent marks on the blog. But I digress.) I think it's safe to say that super grood times were had by all! And by all I mean the two of us!
The highlights:
* Running the Montclair 5K in 31 minutes, 4 seconds (Colon beat me at 29 minutes, 56 seconds--goooooo, Colon!). We got to the race super-early because we are freaks. While we were waiting for the race to start, we stood around admiring our goody bags which contained a full-sized bottle of French's classic mustard, among other things. Sorry, Pinchloaf, I threw it away at the train station on the way home. I didn't think we needed more mustard, you fancy mustard freak. The free t-shirts were also very nice: long-sleeved unbleached cotton with a very nice silk-screened picture of trees. The brunch we went to afterwards rocked.

* Ice skating at the Montclair sports ice arena. There were Jersey Devils banners up, but I guess you can't blame them. Somebody apparently has to like the Devils, and it would make sense that those somebodies would live in New Jersey. But the rink was very nice, not too crowded, and a very polite little boy winced in sympathy when I fell and said, "Oooh, are you all right?"

* Our weak attempt to get to Brooklyn for a roller derby match. This was a highlight because it reminded me of one of the reasons Colon and I are friends: our unparalleled laziness. The trip was going to be gruelling in that it involved driving, taking a commuter train, and then taking the subway. Bluh. It was much easier to drive two blocks to the video store, drive another 3 blocks to get ice cream, and sit on our asses all night watching movies. It was warmer, too.

* The final highlight was just getting to spend time with Colon. She and I have been friends for a pretty long time now, and I consider it a blessing that we still have lots in common and loads of funny fun good times when we do hang out. It was nice to see her without the pressures of wedding-related mish-mash or moving-related madness. She's settled in nicely to her new home, and it was just a joy to see her happy and comfortable. Blah, blah, I love my friend-cakes.

Hey, I passed Eighth Grade Math, too!

2006-11-14T08:30:00.000-05:00

Wooo! I really questioned whether or not I'd be able to pass this test. Those who know me well will realize that I am no math genius. Please, please don't ask me how many times I took Algebra I in high school. Misanthropster's husband, Crankster posted this on his blog (he passed) and I had to find out how I would hold up. I held up well. 8 out of 10 ain't bad. Go me!

You Passed 8th Grade Math

Congratulations, you got 8/10 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Math?

The link is acting screwy, so I'll put it here, too.

Crap, I always forget I live in the "South"

2006-11-08T09:01:00.000-05:00

Stupid Northern Virginia, with its fairly liberal ways what with being so close to DC and all, grumble, grumble. I had to tell my boss who I was voting for and which ammendment I was going to vote against before he'd let me leave work an hour early. I had to remind him that technically, he wasn't allowed to ask me those questions, but if he knew me AT ALL, he would have a good idea of the answers to those questions--and many more! He let me leave.

Now, I'm still registered to vote in my parents' neighborhood. The neighborhood I haven't lived in for, oh, 9 years. I never bothered to change my voter registration, even after my dad hand-delivered the form I needed to do so about 3 months ago. Eh, I'll just need to re-register AGAIN when the whole name change thing goes through, so why bother doing it now?

It took me 45 minutes in the drizzly rain to get from Alexandria to Falls Church, but luckily the polls were fairly empty. I was in and out in 5 minutes, and in spite of agreeing with my sister about Jim Webb, I want the Democrats to gain control of the Senate, so I cast my vote for him. Sometimes, you really do feel like your vote counts for something, and yes, Virginia, this time it truly does. I voted no on the evil, evil ammendment and thought, "Why on earth would anyone vote yes for this? It's just so freaking absurd."

This morning I had on the news while I was getting ready for work. As I searched my drawer for the least ripped-up pair of black tights I could find, the reporter announced that while the Senate race was still up in the air in Virginia (although leaning in Webb's favor), the ammendment on marriage passed. By a margin of 57%. WTF? I pulled on the tights. "Crap, you've gotta be kidding me!" This statement applied to both the announcement, and the fact that there was a gigundo rip in my super-cool textured tights.

I guess I always forget about the gun-totin', Nascar-watchin', rodeo participatin' mobs of SoVa. I'd advocate for NoVa to secede and become its own state, but SoVa would still exist, so I don't know how much of a difference it would make. I'll just keep my fingers crossed that Webb actually wins, and the Democratic dude from Montana, too. Go, dude!

Cats are easy to trick

2006-11-03T11:56:00.000-05:00

Last night Pinchloaf and I were huddled under a huge afghan, too lazy to turn on the heat, and watching Survivor when I said to him, "I'm so glad our cats have pleasant meows." Archie was sitting on the arm of the sofa next to me; Dena was curled up on the other side of Pinchloaf on the only available section of afghan not covering our bodies.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Well," I said, "they could have horrible, loud, obnoxious meows instead of the cute little squeaks both of them make. I think we got lucky in that respect."

"Like what kind of noises?" he persisted, "Do cats really make horrible meowing noises?"

I paused for a second before attempting to make a noise that sounded like a cross between a Siamese in heat and a newborn child. Both cats' ears perked up and they looked at me, startled. I attempted a different noise, something a little more menacing. Dena's eyes were like saucers as she stared at me over Pinchloaf's leg. Archie stood up and looked uneasy. After I made a third noise, he walked across the back of the sofa, balanced himself on my shoulder and looked into my mouth.

Pinchloaf started laughing, "What do you see in there, Archie? Has she got a kitty inside her head?" I made a couple more noises to see if the cats did anything else. They just continued to look extremely alarmed and decided I was bringing the crazy. They got up and ran into the dining room to get away. Two seconds later, they'd forgotten about the "new cat." 'Cuz their brains are the size of walnuts. Must be kinda nice sometimes.

The Bathroom

2006-11-02T14:13:00.000-05:00

For reals, everyone. It was sick (that is what the kids are saying these days, right?).
One of two hot tubs. In the bathroom that was bigger than our apartment. You could turn on a waterfall behind the jacuzzi there, or get in the shower that was a waterfall. They liked waterfalls there, I guess:

Well, the hotel was at La Paz Waterfall Gardens, so that might explain it:

And now for the "awwwww" factor:

Our room had some crazy butterfly name, but they knew no one could ever remember it (shut up, Pinchloaf, I don't want to know what it was), so they put our name on the door so we could find our room. Awwwwwww.

More Costa Rica Pictures

2006-11-02T13:30:00.000-05:00

I promised you more pictures. Not that anyone cares at this point since it happened, like, three weeks ago, but I always keep my promises. When it comes to my blog, that is!
Monkeys like bananas:

Poas Volcano's crater:

Strangler fig tree:

And now it's being a bitch again, so I have to post more in a separate entry. I think it may be the size of the photos, but whatevs. I HAVE to show ya'll the crazy awesome bathroom in the last place we stayed. My whole purpose in going to Costa Rica was to make everyone jealous. It won't happen until you see that bathroom.

A Check-up from the Neck-up

2006-10-31T13:23:00.000-05:00

Fall used to be my favorite time of year. I mean, it still is, what with all the leaves turning pretty colors and the disgusting-ness of Washington DC's summer fading into distant memory, only to be replaced by crisp air and open windows. But man, I've been in quite the funk the last two weeks or so.

I guess you could blame it on post-wedding blues or something, except that I really don't think that's it. It was a wonderful day, and now I'm married to a fantastic man, and I'm not the kind of girl who places so many expectations on one event. No, I think it's some sort of seasonal disorder thingy combined with allergies that's bringing me down in a big way.

After working so hard to whip my ass into hotness for the better part of the year, I now find it difficult to work out even twice a week. I'm tired and sleepy all the time, and wake up daily with a stuffed up nose. It does not motivate me to work out. It motivates me to sleep.

I'm supposed to run a 10K with Ames and her good friend, Mel, on the 12th. A week before the wedding, Ames and I did a practice run with great results on both our parts. I felt confident we would get through the race in good time and excellent spirits. Now I'm concerned that I'll even be able to run the whole thing. It's only 6.2 miles, but psychologically, I'm finding it a little daunting right now. Ames and I are going for a run tonight, and I know I just need to take things as they come. I'll run as best I can for as long as I can, and just try to get back into the swing of things.

My other issue is food, and how I now find it impossible not to cram every little thing down my gaping maw at any given moment. I know it's the colder weather, telling me to fatten up for the winter, but I don't wanna fatten up, dammit!

Okay, deeeeeep breaths. It's just this time of year; I need to repeat that to myself several times a day. It's stressful, holiday and food-filled, and dark at 5:15. But it will pass.

Closing question: Is anyone else being subjected to jello shots and a keg at their office Halloween party this afternoon? Anyone? No? It's just my office, then? Yeah, that's what I figured.

Some awesome shots of Costa Rica

2006-10-24T07:31:00.000-05:00

As many of you know, Pinchloaf and I went to Costa Rica to celebrate all gettin' married and stuff. While there we hiked, saw two active volcanos and many a waterfall, swam in hot springs, toured rainforests and ziplined through cloudforests (the ice cream of your choice for the first person who can tell me the difference between the two!).

We saw howler monkeys, white-faced monkeys, two different kinds of toucans (with nary a froot loop in sight), two AND three-toed sloths, snakes, butterflies, hummingbirds, and every little poison-dart frog under the sun. Since we're a little nutty about animals, we were ridiculously excited when our various tour guides would pull off to the side of the narrow, windy road and point up into the trees. We would get out of the van, stand at the side of the road and look up, squinting at an indeterminate location until one of us would say, "Is that...? Oh, wait, there it is!" and the other one would go, "What? Where? I don't see anything!"

We took about 650 pictures. I've picked out just a few highlights here and there for your looking pleasure. Look away!
Scary bridge driving to Volcan Arenal:

Coatamondi:

Volcan Arenal:

Steelers Toucans (they're black and gold!):

Zipline through the Monteverde Cloudforest. On most of the lines, you couldn't see the other side!

Well, that's it for now. I tried to upload more pictures and it didn't work, so I'll come back later and do more.

We're out of these "New Love" cookies. Well, open up the "Stick With Your Wife" barrel.

2006-10-18T12:43:00.001-05:00

I know I have a lot to tell you, because even though all my readers consist of those who attended my wedding, I must write it alllll down for posterity. However, being back at work means that I'm super-duper busy, and haven't had time yet for the lengthy, picture-laden posts you deserve. So, to keep you amused in the interim, I'll tell you about the awesome fortune cookie Pinchloaf got last night.

It said, "You will find happiness in life with your wife." And I'm not even kidding. He opened it and started giggling, showed it to me, and we both giggled like loons for about 5 minutes. Best. Fortune Cookie. Ever.

We got the prelimonary proofs back from the photographer, and they're awesome. We have pictures that Pinchy's friends took with our digital camera, which are awesome because they consist primarily of his friends acting like the goofy, lovable bunch they are. Ames showed me her pictures, which are awesome because they catch my side of the friends/family bunch...the different perspectives are really cool.

I will say this about the wedding: the day was surreal and more beautiful than I ever could've imagined. I'd like to thank my new husband, Mr. Pinchloaf, for doing such a fabulous job with everything. He gave me the wedding of my dreams. And my parents are pretty cool, too, what with the financial support and all. HBIG's toast was sweet, as Colon pointed out in her blog, as was Ames' toast.

Seeing everyone there, for us...it was overwhelming, amazing, flattering...the list could go on and on. Bonus: Reverend "Matthew" didn't mention Kathleen once! I don't know if everyone was relieved or disappointed. Don't fret, more to come!

Wedding Presents for All!

2006-09-28T07:39:00.000-05:00

Pinchloaf got the kitties the best wedding present ever: A Kitty Condo!

While this is an actual representation of the "condo" we got, the pile o' kittens heaped in the middle section is not indicative of the number of cats that will actually use it. Alas, it is only Handsome GoldenBoy Archie and Evil, Willful Dena who will frolic and play.

Pinchloaf managed to get it put together quite quickly with very little help from me. Um, hello? Last year's Survivor was on OLN and the pint of Haagan Dazs was melting. Plus he didn't need any help because he's ever so handy and useful. He's quite the useful bear to have around the house. GoldenBoy and Willful were taken with the box the way cats always are, and it took much persuasion on our part to get them to explore the condo. But they seem pretty interested so far.

So Dena's new name is Evil and Willful because she's just such a pain these days. She rips up the fabric under the bed and climbs up next to the box spring and makes loud meowing noises and tears fabric all while I'm trying to sleep for crying out loud because the wedding's in 9 days and everything wakes me up at the drop of a hat.

Last night was miserable. Usually, we put her out of the room when I go to bed and she hangs out with Pinchloaf and GoldenBoy (who really can do no wrong right now in the face of the rotten-ness that is Willful) in the Secretary's room. Then, when Pinchloaf comes in to warsh up, she has calmed down and that's when she stuffs her butt in my face. Last night we had to put her out again, though. And then, when I felt guilty and let her back in the bedroom at 4 a.m., I promptly had to put her out again because she was up to her old antics. Uuuuurgh.

So this is boring and too long because my brain is muddled from lack of sleep. But she's not coming in the bedroom tonight. I don't care how much she plays on her kitty condo and looks cute in the evening, I'll not fall for any of her antics tonight. And tomorrow's a whole new day.

I want my quarter back

2006-09-27T10:59:00.000-05:00

I think I'm the only woman in America who has used a tampax machine in the last 15 years. I don't know why I was particularly surprised when it gleefully took my quarter and offered no feminine protection in return, but I did go ahead and give the machine several hearty thumps before resigning myself to the inevitable trip to the drugstore.

My Celebrity Wedding

2006-09-18T07:17:00.000-05:00

I kind of not really know someone famous. Well, technically my sister, Ames, knows someone famous, but that means I know the famous person by proxy, right? I'm not so sure the famous person in question would qualify as being famous to most of America (no offense!), but to Pinchloaf, Colon, Chrishawn, and other dorks who watch too much TV, Miss Alli is a superstar at the cracker factory.

She writes for the website Television Without Pity (handily linked to the right) and went to college with my sister in the early-mid 1990's. She came to visit Ames in July and it would've been my big chance to finally meet her execpt that's the weekend Pinchloaf and I went to Pittsburgh and Kennywood and ate all that food. Remember? It was a good weekend, don't get me wrong, but it would've been better if I'd gotten to meet Miss Alli.

The other day Ames casually mentioned, "Oh, Miss Alli's coming again. She'll be here from [insert dates that coincide with my wedding here]."

Immediately I said, "Oh invite her to the wedding!" Ames chuckled uncomfortably, "Well..."

"No, no," I insisted, "We have the space. You should totally invite her! I mean, how much fun would that be? Especially for her! She's never met us; it wouldn't be at all awkward for me to be gushing over her at the wedding, hardly paying any attention at all to the guests I supposedly love so much and wanted so badly to be present on the most important day of my life..." I trailed off, noticing the conflicted expression that crossed my sister's alabastar brow.

"Well," Ames said gamely, "She's not just coming to visit me. She has other friends in the area. She's not even staying with me this time. Plus, I didn't really want to bring a guest to your wedding, much less someone you've never even met."

I nodded, trying to fight the feeling of disappointment that was rising quickly in my chest. Didn't she see? This was my chance to have a celebrity at my wedding! Oprah never wrote me back, dammit, and I didn't make the cut to be on Bridezillas OR Whose Wedding is it Anyway? If I understand my TV education correctly (and I am a master of interpretation) I'm pretty sure Pinchloaf and I won't be legally married unless there's some element of the absurd involved, right? Getting married to the most wonderful man in the world simply isn't enough for me. I need, nay, deserve to have celebrity representation on my day! Or at the very least a camera crew following me down the aisle. Doesn't she understand?!

I think it's clear. I need to go around my sister and straight to the source. I'm pretty sure the part where all my dreams come true is about to happen. Wish me luck!

Reading is Funda-freaking-mental

2006-09-13T14:28:00.000-05:00

Several things happened over the last week that I wanted to write about but didn't really have time to address (lousy work, grumble, grumble). Here is a sampling of the topics that didn't cut the muster (I mean, mustard):
* The disemboweled bird left by some wild animal on the stairwell at home
* The awesome homemade peanut butter ice cream that Pinchloaf made (I helped!)
* The crazy huffy woman who sat next to me on the bus on 9/11.

Now it seems like they happened so long time ago that it's just not really relavant anymore. Although the bird was pretty disgusting and that woman...just...wow. She was nuts.

What's on the forefront of my mind now is people's reading skills, and how much they suck. When I see those statistics listed in articles claiming that a certain percentage of the population reads at a ridiculously low grade level (here's where I should insert a quote/link to article that states "99.999% of the American population reads at a pre-Kindergarten level," but I'm too lazy to find a source), I'm a little taken aback.

"Really? 99.9999%?! That can't possibly be right!" I guess I'm just spoiled by the fact that my family and friends make up that 0.0001% of the population who can read and have no issues with reading comprehension. I send them an email or other form of correspondance and they understand it with little to no problem. It's the people who are not friends or relatives who are apparently contributing to that insanely high number.

One of my biggest pet peeves is when I put information in the body of an email, amidst other nuggets of need-to-knows, and then they email me back saying, "Where is this person traveling from?" or, "Have you updated the participant list yet?" That's when the urge to get snarky rises and I feel like re-sending them the exact same email I initially sent with the answer to their question highlighted in the text. The only problem with doing this is that I'm sure the snark would be lost on them and they'd just cheerily reply, "Thanx!" Don't you get it? I'm irritated with you and being passive-aggressive about it! Respond in kind! At the very least talk about me behind my back in such a way that I hear about it through other people. Come on!

I've kind of lost the momentum to bitch about this anymore because I started this post this morning and have had a pretty busy day. But seriously people, READ. CAREFULLY. Before you respond with a question, look at the email again. Are you sure you understood everything? Are you certain that your issue wasn't already addressed? Okay, you're sure? Fine, ask away.

If you'd like to know more about why reading is funda-freaking-mental, or your interest has been piqued by the other blog topics I failed to write about and would like further details, please address them in the 'comments' section. Anyone can comment. But I'll only respond to those whose reading skills are at a college graduate level or higher.

A different sort of anxiety, plus other emotions, too!

2006-09-04T06:49:00.000-05:00

This is a better sort of anxiety, I think. Ames and I are going to go to Burke Lake this morning and I'm desperate to do well at the running. You may remember the last time we went when I pooped out after about 2.5 miles and was sorely disappointed.

I'm trying to take preventive measures this time so the same thing doesn't happen again. I'm up fairly early (considering I don't really have to be), I've already eaten a hearty, yet healthy breakfast of Honey Nut Cheerios and skim milk with plenty of time to digest said meal, and I'm guzzling water at a fairly alarming rate. I only hope that this enables me to get the running results I seek. I'm probably going to get coffee in a little while, which will also help the situation.

I'm also feeling insanely jealous at the moment because of Ames' awesome, awesome booksale finds. I'm referring in particular to the kick-ass copy of The Magican's Nephew by C.S. Lewis that presented itself to her for a mere 10 cents. The kick in the pants here, is that Pinchloaf's favorite weekend activity is used booksaling (or is it sailing? I know it's not, really, but saling looks odd. Perhaps because I made it up. Aaaaanyway). I put the kibbosh on going to used booksales some months ago for myriad reasons.

For one, we are being run out of house and home by our books. We both enjoy reading very much and love to have our books out and on display. I especially love children's books, and while not quite as driven as Ames to find unusual covers, I do relish an older copy of a beloved book now and again. I have a fantastic hardcover copy of The Yearling from about 1945 that I cherish quite a bit. When I want to read the book (which I actually am right now), I pick up the mass-market paperback copy that I'm not afraid to drop in the tub. But when I want to gaze longingly at the beauty of the book, I look at the cool hardcover.

The point is that both of us do enjoy our books, and while our apartment is not tiny by any means, there simply is not any more room for another bookshelf. We literally have bookshelves in every room except the bathrooms. This in addition to the fact that we have been planning a wedding for the past 10 months means that our booksaling days have come to an end, at least for a little while.

In reading Ames' post about all her good times and great finds, it just made me a little sad to think about all that I've been missing. Sure, books are a pain in the arse to move. Sure they get dusty and take up a lot of space. But they're comforting, exciting, educational, and for me, one of my favorite ways to pass the time. The best part of not driving to work anymore? Getting to read on my commute. I read something, even if only for 15 minutes, every single day. And Ames' posts on the booksale kind of reminded me of how important it is to me.

Pinchloaf will be so happy when I tell him we can start going to the booksales again (or at least, we can after 10/07). Ames, I think you just made your future brother-in-law very happy!

Grrr, anxiety sucks

2006-08-30T15:12:00.000-05:00

I'm feeling really stressed and slightly depressed today. Pinchloaf has been sick for the last couple of days with a stomach thingy that took us to the ER very very early Tuesday morn. He seemed to have recovered by this morning and went to work, but is now back at home feeling poorly again. We just have so much happening right now, so many things to get done, so many things to look forward to, and I know the last thing he wants is to be sick right now. My poor Pinchy.

I've been feeling depressed in general lately, but I attribute that to good ol' lady times. Sucky excuse, but usually a pretty accurate one for me. I will hopefully being feeling a little more upbeat in the next day or two, but that probably depends on whether or not Pinchloaf bounces back. It still sucks not having a PCP.

In happier news, I bought a big huge bar of Cadbury Dairy Milk at the CVS today and only ate half of it. In fact, it's sitting on my desk taunting me right now, but I'm blithely ignoring it. Go me.

Holy wow, two posts in one day!

2006-08-24T12:19:00.000-05:00

I just had a moment of inspiration and I didn't want to lose it. I don't usually like to write whiny, complainy blogs, but there are a couple of things that have been irritating me lately.

Firstly, people who write in that "arty," stilted, craptacular way that makes it extremely difficult to decipher what it is they are actually talking about. You know of whom I speak. They write about whatever (the environment, religion, the concert they went to last night, the grass in their backyard...you get the point), but do it in such a convoluted manner that you're left thinking, "Am I just dumb or is she writing about something I should comprehend?"

And it does make me feel dumb. Like I'm not free-thinking enough or "with it" enough to get the rambling, incoherent thoughts of a person who didn't take the time to collect his or her mind before spewing it all down for others' consumption. I find it extremely pretentious and aggravating, and for fuck's sake already--use the goddamn shift key! To borrow from Maddox, just move your freaking finger over about seven sixteenths of an inch and employ to your heart's content! I promise you two things: it will make the drivel you write about 70% more readable, and it will make you, the writer look 100% smarter.

Okay, so the secondly thing I want to complain about is the soap in the restroom at my work. It's usually lovely soap that smells delightful and gets the job of hand washing done, but every Monday, I have to hit the dispenser numerous times to get all the black and disgusting moldy soap out. That's right. There's grody gross mold in the soap. I wouldn't have thought a thing like soap could get moldy, but pretty much anything can accquire mold. Apparently it only takes 48 hours for the soap at work to get moldy. Nothing like washing your hands in a known allergen to start your work week right. Thanks for listening.

You will smell my butt. You will liiiiiiike it.

2006-08-24T07:31:00.000-05:00

At least that's what I think my beautiful marmalade Maine Coon kitteh, Dena, has been saying to me lately. I've posted a picture of her before, but I'm gonna post another one because she really is so freaking pretty. And Colon Full o' Carrots says that I'm a crazy cat lady, and I must live up to my reputation.
Not the closest picture of her, but the least blurry anyway. Pinchloaf and I got her about 11 months ago when we decided that Archie, who'd been living with another cat and a dog before we moved, needed a friend. Here's Archie.

Awww, what a handsome fellow! But back to Dena and my unending love for her and her fuzziness. When we first got her, she was understandably a little reserved and didn't like to be picked up, nor was she real patient with the pettings. She was kind of, well, bitey. She'd get all excited and you'd be petting her and then she'd just whip her head around and go, "chomp" on your hand. Never very hard, but enough that you'd want to stop with the attention.

She's gotten much better lately, even going so far as to snuggle with me in bed and on the couch. Last night, she actually parked herself ON me while I was watching tv, and rested her head on my bosom. Awwwww. So much cuteness in the world. There's nothing like a cat peaced out on your person to prevent you from going to the kitchen and eating 5 more all-natural peanut butter sandwich cookies, which are like Nutter Butters only better, if that's possible. Not that I was grappling with that decision in the slightest.

Archie is obsessed with sniffing her butt. I'm pretty sure that Dena thinks I am similarly interested in getting to know her, because when she settles herself next to me in bed, she is always putting her butt directly in my face. A couple of nights ago, she actually sat on my face.

I try to rotate her so her butt is away from my face, but she prefers to have her face by my hands so she can rub her face on them and nibble on my fingers if I'm not petting her (which I'm usually not since I'm trying to sleep). So I just try to move my face away from the direct line of her tail and ignore. Sorry Dena, my olfactory nerves are not as sensitive as yours. I learn nothing from your rear end.

The Sicky

2006-08-18T08:56:00.000-05:00

So basically since Sunday I've not been feeling so hot. I chalked up my fatigue on Sunday and Monday to a busy, busy weekend. I went to bed early both nights, and on Tuesday was feeling less tired. Then I noticed that my left lymph node in my neck was ginormous and painful and stuck out so far that other people noticed it.

I complained about it out to my co-worker. "Oh my god, I thought that was bone," she said incredulously. "That's your lymph node?!" Okay, not an encouraging reaction. My ears were kind of bothering me, too, as was my throat, but only minimally in comparison to my tiredness and giant 'node.

"Maybe you have mono," suggested another co-worker helpfully. "That's what happened to me when I got mono." At a little more than 7 weeks until the wedding, that's probably the last diagnosis I want to hear. Really, I had no idea what was going on, but decided it was time to take it to the professionals. Not that I don't value the opinions of co-workers, but we are experts in the field of grains (get it? field? grains? oh, nevermind), not medicine.

I love not having a primary care physician, because that means when you call all of the doctors in the world, they won't see you because you're not an established patient. Or they can take you, but not for a brazillion years. No, I don't really want to wait two weeks to see the doctor. Fine, I'll just take it to Urgent Care.

They opened at 8 in the morning, so I showed up there yesterday morning at 7:50 with the newest Harry Potter in paperback in tow (the British edition, natch, courtesy of Ames who procured it on her recent jaunt to Amsterdam), ready to get this diagnosis started. Not wanting to seem like a freak who waits by doors when businesses are not yet open, I sat in my car listening to NPR while I waited for the doors to open.

At 7:52 I saw someone walk up the steps and stand by the door. WTF. I felt like Larry David, but if we want to get technical, I got there first! I was highly irritated at this point, but decided to just sit in the car like a normal person and let the baby have her bottle. If she's going to park her ass outside the door like a freak, pressuring the staff to open a couple of minutes early just so she can be first, fine.

Just a little background: a lot of this hostility stems from being an opener at Starbucks for three years and wondering why on earth someone would show up at a Starbucks at 5:05 and knock when we clearly we not yet open. People would actually yell at us through the door when our sign stated that we opened at 5:15. If you need coffee so badly that you can't wait until 5:15 in the morning, you need to brew it yourself.

So anyway, I was second because of the pushy bitch, but luckily I didn't have to wait too long. I told the nurse my symptoms and she swabbed my throat for a strep test. By the way, I HATE the doctor's office scale--putting me at 7 pounds over what I weighed on the scale at home that very morning. HATE you, scale! I don't know what I was anticipating, but strep was not it. The doctor came in a couple of minutes later, "You tested positive for strep." Okey-dokey.

Now I'm at home again because of being all contaigous for 24 hours and whatnot. I'm not bored because I am tired and have been napping a bit, snorgling with the kitties and schlumping around the house. I'm sure Pinchloaf would get a ton of housework done if he was at home sick, but we all know what a clean freak he is. Pssst--hey everyone, I think I'm marrying up!

A Tribute, if you will

2006-08-15T11:22:00.000-05:00

Pinchloaf's mom threw me a bridal shower over the weekend. It fairly well rocked. The whole affair was so flattering. A whole lotta fuss for little ol' me? Seriously, the food was wonderful, the guests were so sweet and generous. I never in a million years would've expected something like this; it was just so nice. As Pinchloaf's brother would say, "Aaaawwwwwwwww!"

As I mentioned, the shower was great, my mom and Ames were there in addition to a bunch of Pinchloaf's relatives. No redonkulous games were played, which was greatly appreciated by my mother, and other people, I'm sure. But I have to say my favorite part of the weekend (other than the shower, of course) was seeing my girl, Kira. Boy was I ever happy to see her. She moved to Montclair, NJ about 7 weeks ago and I'd seen her once since then.

We went running on Saturday morning in anticipation of counteracting all the evil treats we knew were in store at the shower and just in general. We went to the local jr. high and ran around the makeshift track. While running, I experienced severe gastrointestinal distress and wanted to wander off into the woods in search of relief. Kira, being the awesome friend that she is, wisely counselled against taking such drastic measures. After writhing in agony on a bench behind the baseball dugout for what felt like an eternity, the situation seemed to resolve itself for a moment, and we were able to take a walk 'round the neighborhood just like in oldentimes.

"There," Kira said, after about 10 minutes of hobbling down the street, "Aren't you glad you didn't take to the woods?" I had to admit that while I was still a little uncomfortable, I was glad that I didn't turn to the woods in this time of dispair.

It was just so great to have her around again. We giggle like loons at the silliest things. We talk about everything. I'm not feeling that great today, so I think this is turning rambly and unfocused, but before I cut out of work early to hit the urgent care clinic and rot there for several hours, I just wanted to say that I love Kira. And yes, I'm sure that makes me gay.

I'm gonna talk about running again. And a dream I had.

2006-08-09T08:04:00.000-05:00

So bear with me, here. I'm just happy because I've broken my block against running on the treadmill. I find it dreadfully boring and usually can't make myself run for more than 30 minutes on the thing. But the last two times I hit the gym, I managed to go for 4.7 miles in 45 minutes (on Saturday) and then 4.65 miles in 45 minutes last night. So YAY!

My speed is increasing and hopefully that means I'll be able to go faster on my outside runs as well. Ames and I have a goal to run Burke Lake (which is 4.5 miles) in 45 minutes, hopefully by October. The fastest we've done it so far has been 52 minutes. Which still isn't bad, but we want to do better! The last time we went, about two weeks ago, I was the big quitter and quit after 2.5 miles, mostly because the urge to vomit was rising...rising, and as soon as we slowed to a walk it faded until it was gone. Poor Ames. I think she's now known as the sister of the Big Quitter. Well not next time, dammit!

I had a redonkulous dream last night that the wedding was still a year away. In my dream I remember thinking, "Oh hell no." Seriously, I don't think I could deal with planning this for another year. I admire those people with marathon engagements, but I just want this to be over and done with already! Meaning, I want to be married to Pinchloaf and have a fun party and move on to thinking about other things. Like running.

A Minor Irritation

2006-08-04T08:07:00.000-05:00

Dear Washington, DC,
I could complain to you about the inconsistency of the bus schedule, or the rise in the number of tourists on the metro. Instead, I'm going to whine about the annoying people who are hired to hose down the sidewalks near my office every freaking morning.

I don't get it. Yes, sidewalks are dirty. Yes, homeless people pee on them. But it just seems like the most collosal waste of water in the world to make a guy stand there and spray the concrete as if he were watering the most delightful English garden and was loathe to let the flowers wilt.

The reasons I find this so aggravating (besides the wasted water) are these:
1. I don't wear my heels on the metro because I frequenly find myself running for the bus in the morning. This means that the cuffs of my dress pants usually drag on the ground a bit. I don't mind it when my pants get wet if it's raining, but I'll be damned if I'm going to be on the lookout for puddles in the middle of a draught. The other day I was wearing a skirt and obliviously stomped into a puddle that soaked my entire left flip flop-clad foot and splashed the better part of my right calf. Guh-ross.

It's not just puddles, though. I mean, the entire sidewalk is wet, so when my pants drag, I end up playing a juggling game where I wish I had a third hand. I'm frequently carrying my work bag, a shopping bag with my lunch, and my Starbucks cup, all the while trying to hold up my pants legs so I don't have a water stain that goes up the back of my pants.

2. By spraying the sidewalks, they're not actually getting clean, instead they're getting dirtier. Think about it: some guy pees on the sidewalk by a building. Yeah, that's pretty disgusting, it smells when you walk right by it, but it's fairly obvious what it is. There's puddle by the building--it's pee. You avoid it. Along comes the sidewalk sprayer, merrily spraying along. He sprays at the pee to "wash" it away, but instead spreads it all over the sidewalk. What once was confined to a corner that was avoidable, I now have to walk in. And potentially drag my pants in, or splash all over my legs. Again, Guh-ross. It's not just pee they're spraying around, either. I see bits o' trash and other lovelies getting moved from one side of the concrete to the other. What's the point?

So please, whomever hires the people to spray the sidewalks, please stop. I'm tired of coming out of the metro thinking that I'd missed a passing rain shower. I'm sick of actually getting sprayed by the hose itself because even though I'm on the other side of the sidewalk, the water is splashing around and the hose guy doesn't stop and wait for me to pass. I took a shower already this morning (well, probably), I don't want another one.
Thank you,
An otherwise content DC commuter

God is in Everything...except Kathleen

2006-08-02T11:01:00.000-05:00

Last night, Pinchloaf and I went to meet our officiant for the first time. We arrived at his comfortable, Falls Church city house where he welcomed us heartily. The soothing sounds of hammer dulcimer music drifted through the sunroom while two curious cats sniffed our outstretched fingers. An intricate fountain burbled on the table next to me. He handed us a couple of wedding workbooks to review over the course of our session.

Reverend Matthew (not his real name) wasted no time and got right to the point, "My wife, Kathleen, who left me..." And with that opener, he launched into the worst (or best?) divulgance of TMI I've ever experienced in my life.

Within the first 20 minutes of our meeting, Pinchloaf and I found out that his wife, Kathleen, (you know, who left him?) was now living with a friend of his whom he had brought into their home. His friend. More information came at us thick and fast, about his background, his children, his spirituality. Lots and lots about his spirituality. Okay, that's fine. He's a priest, we get it.

After several digressions, we went through part of the workbook and talked about the ceremony. Do we believe that marriage is "till death do us part?" Yes? Oh well, that's what he thought too...until Kathleen decided to leave. We know that one of us could decide to leave the marriage, right? You know, like Kathleen did, right? Okay, just so we know. Better not to be blindsided by that possiblity. Because it came out of left field for him. Not to lay it all out on the table right away, but I guess it's too late for that now.

He told us about the births of his children, about the school in Chile of which he's a founding member (and which will one day be mentioned in the same breath as Plato's philosophy school), more about our wedding. But the topic always ALWAYS came back to Kathleen, and how she left.

On the one hand, it really was heartbreaking to hear this man talk about his wife's abandonment. He was clearly distraught and had no filter on it whatsoever. The pain was so close to the surface that nothing could prevent its mention, not even the presence of strangers who were going to potentially hire him for their wedding ceremony. I can't image how recently this must have happened, although he told us with great specificity the details of their custody arrangement with their 11-year old son, so it must've been a little while, anyway. He thinks he found a way to get into Heaven while still on Earth, but it's contingent on forgiving Kathleen and her lover, which for some reason he hasn't been able to do yet.

Are Pinchloaf and I friends? Yes? Oh, that's good. That makes for a good marriage. Maybe if he'd been friends with Kathleen, the marriage would've worked out...but they weren't friends. Now they weren't even husband and wife.

Pinchloaf and I patiently listened to the Reverend's ramblings, nodded politely when appropriate, and got a word in edge-wise when we could. We left his house after an hour and a half feeling pretty good about the ceremony, about Reverend Matthew overall, excited about our wedding in spite of Kathleen, that evil bitch who ruined everything.

We got about 2 houses away before we busted out laughing. Again, not to downplay what the man is going through, but Pinchloaf hit the nail on the head when he described the priest as a character in a Christopher Guest movie. Can't you see the guy, played by Guest himself, soft spoken, spiritual, yet forever finding a way to mention Kathleen, bringing the conversation back to her and what she did while the other people squirm in abject embarassment. Painfully funny.

More Running Ramblings (now with dog!)

2006-07-26T09:23:00.001-05:00

I went running again last night, this time for an hour, and it was decidedly more successful than Monday night. While I was running, I remembered that cartoon from childhood that showed on Saturday mornings with the cowboy who was either a cracker (similar to a Ritz) or a cheese wheel, complete with boots and a jaunty hat. He sang about how you are what you eat and that the next time you feel hollow don't just fill yourself with any old kind of treat. There was something about orange juice and ice cube trays and plastic wrap for some weak-ass type of popsicle...are you with me, here? Do you remember of whom I speak?

Aaaaannnyway, I remembered this character (and if I had any inkling whatsoever as to his name I'd google him for an image) and realized that the cartoon was right. You ARE what you eat. The reason I had such a crappy run on Monday was due to the fact that I ate like shit all weekend. Some of the weekend's samplings included corn dogs and funnel cake at Kennywood, and some crazy concoction involving strawberry jello, cool whip and pretzels. Hey, I was at Pinchloaf's family reunion in Pittsburgh--need I say more? But last night was much easier because I ate much healthier on Monday and Tuesday. Hey, it only took 25 years for that cartoon's message to sink in, but a lesson learned is a lesson learned, my friend.

On my run last night, I lengthened it by going over to a different neighborhood on the other side of the highway. I noticed over there that a lot of people have dogs. Lots n' lots of dogs.

I ran on the W&O trail in Shirlington past a creek. There were TONS of dogs down in the water. It was really cute. Mostly labs, but other dogs, too, just splashing around and playing with each other while the owners stood on the pebbled shore and watched. A short distance down from the big group of dogs, there was a lone Husky-type dog. I saw him lie down in the stream and get settled as if the creek bed was a couch or something. The water came up to his shoulders and ran over his body which was pretty much submerged. I totally know how he felt.

So the run was great, but the downside was that I basically passed out at 9:30 as a result. Pinchloaf and I started to watch The Prisoner which is one of his favorite shows and I fell asleep about 3/4 of the way through. I wanted to watch it, I really did, but my body physically wouldn't let me.

Plus I had a traumatic experience with a crazy person in the car and almost got into an accident. It involved said crazy person cutting me off and me giving him the finger and him then trying to run me off the road. Kira's already lectured me about using the finger and I learned my lesson but good--don't do it. Especially when crazy people are involved. Do you hear me, people? No good will come of using the finger when driving. So many lessons learned yesterday.

The Lonliness of the Weak-Willed Runner

2006-07-25T08:49:00.000-05:00

For the first time in about a month it was considerably less humid yesterday, so I decided to strap on ye olde running shoes and take it outside for a change. As I was getting ready to head out, I picked up my iPog and realized as I scrolled through the artists that I have put no new music on it in about 3 months. I was feeling very bored by what I had on there, so I decided to do the unthinkable: run without music. I know, right? It's crazy.

I did that about 6 weeks ago when the battery was decidedly low on the iPog and had quite the enjoyable run. I listened to the cicadas in the trees and heard someone practicing a slightly out of tune piano and someone else playing a sqeaky saxamaphone. I was able to plug along while my thoughts drifted to this subject or that idea. I felt the solidity of the pavement under my shoes and got some hippy-dippy notion that I was one with suburban nature, my body a vessel which can transport me anywhere, blah, blah, empowerment-cakes. However, I heard no fingering exercises (heh) drifting from open windows, nor did I experience any one-ness pleasures yesterday.

Even without the humidity, summer just sucks in NoVa. The air quality yesterday? It sucked. Running outside in it? Really sucked. It felt like I was attempting to breathe in mashed potatoes. I gave up after about 30 minutes. I felt so lame--there were sooooo many other joggers out yesterday running at a smooth and even pace, showing no outward signs of difficult breathing or beet-red, sweat-coated faces. Perhaps with music I would've tolerated the run better. As it was, I spent the entire time forcing myself not to look a my watch and berating myself for doing something so stupid as running without the musics.

I've heard tell that running in the heat is just something you have to get used to, but when? Why? Argh. I really dislike running on a treadmill. I find it spit-chokingly boring and end up staring in anguish at the little timer the entire time. I've gone through all the syndicated reruns of Trauma: Life in the ER on the Discovery Health Channel and can't seem to find anything else to watch in that time slot at the gym. I just want to be outside, dammit! Please, please let me run outside...

These Birds Have Flown

2006-07-19T07:47:00.000-05:00

Whilst taking a walk out in the stiffling, mid-July heat over the weekend, Pinchloaf suggested we name the birds. Immediately, he came up with Bronwynn and Elinor (we discussed the spelling of that later and agreed on the Austen-esque "Elinor" as opposed to the more popular "Eleanor"). After a moment's pause, I threw in Rhiannon for the third and final fledgling.

He looked at me askance. "Rhiannon? Where'd you come up with that?" Excuse me? How does it not go with Bronwynn and Elinor?! Seemed fitting to me, sort of Celtic/Olde English but whatevs. He grudgingly accepted Rhiannon. Hey, it's not like I love that name, but where the hell did Bronwynn and Elinor come from anyway? Just trying to keep with the theme, here!

It seems like just yesterday the birds looked like this, only in real-life form, not drawing form (although I do like the pretty drawing):

This picutre really amuses me because, well, it's just very accurate. I love how the mother isn't even looking down at her offspring because she can't bear the hideous sight of their withered visages. She's just fixed her eyes off in the distance all the while telling herself that it won't be long before they look like real birds instead of senile old folks.

Pinchloaf told me that several days in a row when came out of the apartment, he greeted the babies in their nest, only to turn around and find Mama Robin on the railing with a berry or worms in her mouth, giving him the royal stink-eye. I can just picture him holding up his hands while apologizing and backing slowly down the stairs, away from the crazy lady bird.

So they very rapidly went from the bobble-heads I described in my last post, to real, fully formed birds who could barely fit in the nest:

Now I realize of course that these guys aren't in a nest, but again, a really cool drawing. It was so remarkable how quickly they grew. Pinchloaf told me that yesterday morning that there was a fledgling on the balcony, staring into the living room through the glass door. Another one was out on the landing of the stairs, wandering around. When I got home last night, they were gone and someone had torn down the nest.

It made me kinda sad to have them gone. I didn't realize how accustomed I'd become to their presence, and how much I enjoyed seeing the babies grow. I don't know why someone was so anxious to tear down the nest. It made me especially upset when Pinchloaf went out to put some things in the recycling bin and saw the mama flying down the stairs.

Hopefully the fledglings are old enough now to fend for themselves. We'll miss you, Bronwynn, Elinor, Rhiannon, and Mama Robin!

The Wonders of Nature

2006-07-12T08:35:00.000-05:00

Pinchloaf and I live in what is essentially a third-floor walk-up. The stairwell is open, and in the past 11 months that we've been living here, a mourning dove or pigeon will not infrequently find its way up the stairwell and flap frantically around for a day or so until someone takes pity on it and shoos it back down.

I am not one of the pitying ones. I'm one of the screaming ones. That is, as I'm coming up the stairs I can hear the "phhhluup, phhluppp," of the wings as the bird flies back and forth between the front and back stairwells and I run, ducking and squealing into the apartment. Or I leave the house, pulling the door shut as quickly as possible behind me, and go racing down the stairs at breakneck speed. My greatest fear is that one day, in a moment of spaceyness on my part, a bird will blunder into the apartment and the cats will proceed to disembowel the bird with great delight, leaving me with not only a bird corpse, but blood n' guts all over our rented living quarters.

With that established, about 6 weeks ago we noticed a different kind of bird in our stairwell. A smarter bird. This bird was building a nest a top on of the security light fixtures, like so:

We saw the bird fly up and down the back stairs so it was pretty obvious that unlike its stupid distant relatives this bird knew the score. After discussing it with the neighbors, we all agreed to leave the bird be, especially after one of them said she counted three eggs in the nest. The bird had good timing, too, because soon after the rains came. You know what I'm talking about--those horrible torrential downpours that lasted a good week. But there was our latest resident, safe and dry in her new home.

After several weeks of seeing the bird posing like a hot, Audubon model every time we passed her (she seemed to think that if she froze like a porcelain figure we wouldn't notice her up there, conspicuous and, well, noticeable), the baby birds finally hatched, and look very similar to this:

I was a little concerned at first because the mama bird never seemed to be around. Every time we saw the nest post-hatching, all that was visible were wobbly little bird heads poking out of the nest with mouths agape. Open the front door and they would immediately pop up, weaving around for the worms and other delights that we no doubt were going to provide. Clomp up the stairs and there was the biggest one, its head dangerously far out the edge of the nest, pleading silently yet persistently for sustenance.

Pinchloaf reassured me that the mama was taking care of her babies and that it was tough work providing for three little ones. All I could think of was the stench that was sure to be profound in the DC summer heat as a result of the abandoned hatchlings. But he was right, she did come back:

She still freezes every time we walk past. Last night I saw her perched next to the nest looking for all the world like a "Lost" character going into the Thousand Yard Stare of Impending Flashback (tm TWoP), her eyes fixed on a distant object, mouth slightly ajar. Think Evangeline Lilly before her tiresome backstory starts yet again.

When Pinchloaf and I came home from the gym she was sitting on the railing, uncomfortably close to both me and our apartment door. I was terrified she would pull a mourning dove and start flapping around and cooing and trying to land on my head. So I tiptoed around her while she stopped breathing and waited for the danger to pass. Pinchloaf complimented her on what a good job she's doing.

Whatevs. I know a bird smart enough to build a nest in the almost indoors will not doubt find her way all the way indoors (i.e. our living room) come next spring. Don't get me wrong, I very much like animals and nature, and I do like birds. I just know that the cats really like birds.

Please note that the pictures I posted are not mine, although they are very similar to what we are experiencing . I found these pictures on the interweb and they are from the website webpages.charter.net. If I had a digital camera, you could experience first-hand the same wonder as us. As it stands, you are forced to live vicariously through someone who had a nest built on their deck rather then directly through me.

I use time wisely

2006-06-30T12:29:00.000-05:00

I was asked to attend a...lecture? Yeah, I guess it was a lecture, on Tuesday. It was on how drought affects the midwest. It took me back to the college days of yore in that the minute the nervous, suit-wearing guy started talking, I started doodling with unabashed vigor. There are some notes mixed in there as well: I hope this turns out big enough for you to actually see what I wrote/drew, but I'll let you in on the secrets if you can't really decipher what's going on here. The important things to note are the following:
-I attempted to follow the lecture by writing every so often about El Nino vs. La Nina. Please don't ask me to distinguish effectively between the two.
-I wrote, "that makes people throw up" in the margin on the left. The speaker actually said, "that makes people throw up their hands in disgust," but I liked the abbreviated version of that sentence better.
-The pen I was given to write/draw with sucked. I prefer a finer point with higher quality ink. I think my renderings of imaginary girls (don't ask me to draw anyone I actually know) and my real cat would've come out much more nicely with a better pen. I apologise.

I wish I would take up drawing in a non-lecture hall environment, but I don't know who I'm kidding. Just look at my notes from college. It's a wonder I passed Philosophy 101.

So clearly I let this slide for awhile

2006-06-27T13:30:00.000-05:00

I'm still working on what's what with this thing. I set this up back in December completely on a whim and then promptly forgot about it. I was blogging on Myspace for awhile, but I don't think that's as much fun as having your own blogspot, call me crazy.

Anyway, my friend Virginia just set up her blog and that kind of inspired me to mess around with this again (there's a link to her blog, misanthropster, over on the sidebar). Hers clearly has a theme in mind, whereas mine will probably take a while to find its voice.

Just testing the waters some more...

2006-06-27T09:52:00.000-05:00

By posting an adorable picture of my baby girl, Dena.

I might use this in all seriousness if I can figure some of this crap out. Luckily, work's not been too busy as of late.

Why did I go and do a thing like that?

2005-12-07T11:25:00.000-05:00

Just testing the waters out here in "cyberspace". Sure is interesting....I wonder what the Mr. will think when I tell him?